Beauty and the Beetch!

FUS RO DAH!!!

2012-01-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

lost and lazy

2012-01-20T00:23:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but lately I've become the laziest person ever.

It started when I became lazy to eat. Then I started to become very tired and I sleep for more than 10 hours, I woke up and didn't feel like eating so I sleep more and then I was too lazy to go to class. I started to realise that this is getting pretty worse when I feel lazy to PLAY GAME as well. I have tons of PC games that I can play, but I don't feel the excitement to play the game at all. I am also quite lazy to stalk people on my daily basis. Lastly, I am lazy to troll some of the people on the internet and laugh about it.

Then it has also affected my ibadah. I've become lazy to pray especially to wake up for Subuh. I tried to fight it, and most of the time I perform my prayer in last minute. I did sit and think about what had happened to me, try to muhasabah myself and all, thinking what have I possibly done to God especially. Is it my niat that drove me to the wrong path? Or is it because I've left my religion in injustice, since I didn't even put an effort to stop any wrong things that I have seen? Or because I've left reading the Quran for more than a month now?

I'm in my therapy season with Dr. Whatever. It's the psychiatrist that's been living in my head for many years, always helping me to center my mind again. Kidding, but yeah for many years I've been doing self-therapy, like when I brought myself into having extreme diet and initially having eating disorder back in 2007-2008. It's not easy to start eating again, because it's not the diet and extreme exercise routine that we need to destroy, it's the sense of control that has been living in my mind since I started to become obsess with my body image. Plus it's not easy when the self control leads you into self torture and mutilation. But at least I realised my problem sooner and luckily I can help myself out.

So to combat my feeling of laziness, I guess I need to start reading the Surah Al-Rahman daily, because it helps us to prevent ourself from being forgetful and lax. Actually the real word is lupa and lalai but I can't find the proper words for them. I think the reason why I become very lost right now is because I distance myself from God? Maybe I need to go home and meet my family?

2012-01-17T04:02:00.004+08:00

Cute story :)

2012-01-17T01:32:00.002+08:00

we need more doctors like them

2012-01-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

When I was in my high school, my dad suggested me to be a specialist in cosmetic surgery, because it's less busy and make a lot of money. But my dad said that it's for those who involved in an accident, not for people who wants to be another Angelina Jolie or whatever. I was so excited because my dad supported me for what I love to do as I've been studying on human facial features for a long time. I don't know, maybe because I love fashion, art, models, so I guess it is something that I can do with passion.

But, when I was doing A level, I came across a tv show, "Jalan2 cari makan"-like program with a plastic surgeon as a guest star. The surgeon showed his workplace and said that he puts a lot of mirrors in there because he wants his patient to become aware of their body and face while waiting in the waiting room. Not to mention that he puts a lot of pictures of the famous Hollywood celebrities too. Isn't it too obvious that he tried to mentally-control his patients' minds into thinking that they are completely ugly?

Then after that it was a session where they were eating in a luxurious restaurant while the host was asking him about what are the features on her face that she should have fixed. Needless to say, the host is fucking beautiful. But the doctor gave her a list of almost 15 things that costs about 10,000SGD each. He said that she should fix her nose, cheek, jaw, boobs, forehead, botox and HELL a lot of other unnecessary things. This is too obvious that he was actually sucking the money from his customer.

This had completely turned me off. Since then, I would see plastic surgeon as an evil job. It's more about doing business than helping people. They used to say that they're helping people that has low self esteem by improving their look, but what I see here is that they tend to point out certain flaws that a customer has and make them into believing that they should change it into something that 'every beautiful people have'.

But today I stumbled upon this and this video. Sorry I cannot embed these videos.

After a gunshot on her face, the patient was no longer having eye socket and she covers half of her affected face with a sleep shade/mask. The doctors gave her a 40,000USD worth of plastic surgery and prosthetic face FOC-free of charge. We really need more doctors like them in this world.

How to reduce lag (Skyrim for Intel GMA X3100)

2012-01-16T01:07:00.003+08:00

finally I can play Skyrim without so much lag

Thanx to Benjaminiser for the tutorial
Follow the instructions placed under 'description' of this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s6u0unRtm8&feature=related

STEP 1: DOWNLOAD AND USE IT
download the file, replace it with the 'skyrimprefs.ini' file. change some file a bit.

okay, since my goal is to make tutorials for GIRL, here's the steps:

1) Download the file which Benjaminiser had given in his video (under description part)
2) Extract the file or just open it (if you have winRAR)
3) Simply copy and replace the file given into yours, or just copy the content of it.

the file is 'skyrimprefs.ini', copy the file

go to > document > my games > skyrim

replace the existing 'skyrimprefs.ini' file in that folder with the one that you had just copied.

the file

This file will change your game resolution into either 512x384 or 640x400 (based on which folder you just copied the file from). If you use the Skyrim Launcher and change the resolution from there, the game will take a moment to scan for the optimum performance for your laptop, and hence will change the skyrimprefs.ini file again. So, this is where you need to tweak a little.

In the file that you had replaced, search for these two words (under the display section)

iSize H=400

iSize W=640

change it with your preferred resolution. H stands for height and W stands for your weight. uhm.. wide.

but basically smaller resolution gives you better performance (improve the frames per second shit, i guess).

optional

bGamepadEnable=1 change to bGamepadEnable=0

for mouse lag, add bMouseAcceleration=0 (under [Controls] section, the last line)

STEP 2: THE SOFTWARE VERTEX SHIT
I know nothing about this, but basically you can download the Intel Display Adapter Management Tool.
download here: http://www.mediafire.com/?1uzwdtwezym

click on the vertex processing blah blah blah

click on the add executable, choose the .exe file of your game, then click on change vertex processing mode

STEP 3: DURING THE GAME (INSIDE OR OUTSIDE)
press ~ then type TLL, and press enter.

you can also type in some cheat codes to get 1million golds, but I want to earn them in a hard way... unless I'm playing The Sims 3.

optional
download GameBooster. Click on it when you want to play game. It will close any running program for maximum performance during gaming

STEP 4: ENJOY THE GAME!

if you know better tips than this, please share with me :)

Kamelot in Nightwish situation

2012-01-13T23:02:00.001+08:00

I haven't heard about Kamelot for such a looong time. Don't blame me for not keeping up to date about this band! I'm living in Malaysia so whenever I want to know anything about them, new albums and blah blah, I have to google them. And at this moment which is on 13th January 2012, I just found out that the band's vocalist, Roy Khan, had left the band since April last year.

Oh God, another Nightwish situation.

The reason why I called this "Nightwish" is because this whole thing is almost similar to what happened to Nightwish, where Tarja also left the band (actually was kicked out of the band). The most perfect band ever, with powerful voice from Tarja and awesome songs from the band member, with such beautiful lyrics Thoumas had ever made. People cried when knowing that Tarja was no longer with the band. Until now, everybody still cannot accept the fact that they were no longer together.

Same thing happened to Kamelot. Roy Khan had the most awesome (nearly God-like) voice ever, and I can't imagine how Kamelot would sound like without him. His voice is exactly the same on live performances or on records.

Damn I'm so sad by this news.

Roy Khan Photo by ~xandra73 on deviantART

Wifi dicuri?

2012-01-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

bayangkan. bulan neh ko pokai- bayar sewa RM250, bayar duit blaja kete RM500, bayar lesen (dah lulus! yey), and bayar bil including bil unifi yg kena bayar for 3 bulan terus yg nak dekat sratus sorang tu.

bayangkan. (toksah bayang ah, memang ade) orang lain yang tak share unifi ngan kita senang2 pakai wifi kita free2 je. nak tukar password, orang unifi memang pemalas nak layan. dah la bil unifi dye pegi compile utk 3 bulan terus. bayangkan ko bayar mahal2 orang lain guna free2, pastu ko dapat signal paling ciput sebab ramai sgt pakai.

so sini aku (baru belajar) ajar mcmana nak detect sape pakai wifi, and cara nk tukar password :) ni kira tutorial utk pompuan la sbb aku pakai ayat simple2 je

Detect pencuri
masuk website neh (website ke neh?).. anyway ko click mane2 link nih.

http://192.168.0.1 atau http://192.168.1.1

secara otomatiknye link neh akan pegi ke webpage router yg korang guna.. (syaratnye korang kena pakai korang punye wifi, bukan org laen punye).. contohnye aku guna router D-Link

contoh macam neh

then kena masukkan username dgn password la plak.. username n password neh bukan name n password wifi korang, ni maybe username mase korang dafta dulu kot.. ntahla sbb ktorang lupa. maybe kalau ko punye wifi name and password lebey kurang sama ngan username mase korang dafta dulu2, maybe bole log in.

ape nk buat kalau xtau password?

http://www.routerpasswords.com/

pegi ke website tu, pilih router mane yg korang guna. then dye akan bagi list of password untuk each model. check korang punye model (dye ade tulis besaq2 kat korang punye router) then korang bole log in either as user or admin.

bila da bole log in, click setup > LAN setup
check kat box DHCP client list

ade pencuri sorang mwahahaha

ni kira mcm history sape penah online n pakai ko punye wifi, bla bla.. nak memudahkan kerja korang, suruh la kawan2 yang share rename laptop diorang. cara nak rename pegi kat control panel > system security > view amount of RAM > change setting

change-tulis nama-tekan OK

after rename nanti korang akan disuruh restart, so tekan restart now ataupun ko restart la sndiri.

bila da rename laptop, korang punye laptop name dkt DHCP list tu akan di-update terus. maknanya name baru korang akan appear kat list tu la. so senang nak check sape yg pernah online. a few days lepas aku check ada history of 3 laptop tak kenal dengan 1 ipod stranger yang pernah online pakai wifi ktorang. kenal sangat sape punye, tapi biar la kita cakap tak kenal ye haahhaha.

yang list tu kira mcm 'history' la. nak check kalau orang tu TENGAH online, click status > wireless
check kat wireless clients

list org online MASA TU

so korang check la IP address pencuri tu. kalau ade maknanye dye tgh online ah.

lupe plak.. kalau utk phone:
android- pergi kat setting wifi (kena connect dulu).. lepas tu dye bagi korang punye IP address.. check dekat DHCP list tu balik utk kompem (kompem dlm hati je) yg korang penah online pakai phone

for nokia phone, type
*#62209526#
tak payah tekan call, sebab dye keluar sendiri. tapi fon aku keluar MAC address je. so nk check IP address bole tgk kat DHCP list tu based on my MAC address.

kalau fon korang bole rename, rename je la.. tapi fon aku x keluar nama pon :p

Aftermath
nak buat jahat banyak ke jahat sikit?

jahat banyak. ko bole interrupt atau divert pencuri tu punye signal so that bila dye online, tiba2 webpage jadi terbalik, kena block, kena troll dan macam2 lagi hahaha.. aku baru belajar sikit2, tak belajar mendalam lagi sebab esok lusa da midsem exam. daripada aku spend masa belajar command tu, baek aku baca notes lecturer aku haha. so aku tak tau sgt nanti jadi mcmana. aku rasa sape2 je yang pakai internet tu akan affected kecuali aku, sebab aku yang control. so nanti orang lain yg bayar pon akan ter-effect jugak. Tapi effect masa aku tengah tulis command tu je la. Plus laptop aku da 2 kali blue screen, so karang laptop aku tak larat nak buat kerja kan haha.

jahat sikit. tunggu dye online. nak2 tengah buffer movie or video, korang terus tukar password. BWAHAHAHA

cara nak tukar password, dkt page yg korang log in tu, click setup > wireless setup > manual wireless connection setup

pegi dkt box WPA/WPA2

tukar password anda :D
tekan save setting.

nak masukkan balik password masa nak connect, right click kat nama wifi, tekan properties dan taip password baru. so bole la korang connect tapi yang bese curik wifi korang tak bole connect. wek!! :p

tutorial neh aku khaskan utk pompuan, sebab pompuan neh kalu bagi term pelik2 memang diorang malas nak layan.. so yg hebat2 tu nak provide option lg senang amatlah dialu-alukan.. sbb ni pon aku baru belajar.

aku post ni pon sbb aku nak diorang tau yang pencuri wifi amatlah mudah untuk didetect. for all this while we're actually watching you.

The stress reliever

2011-12-31T05:20:00.000+08:00

I love doing miniature stuff :D

Paper miniature pop up card (the eraser as a scale)

Nuff said.

2011-12-27T02:37:00.002+08:00

chester see & victor king

Some fashion ads

2011-12-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

Damn it. I REALLY love this ad. Watch it for 10 times straight.

The ad is quite realistic, I love the idea of people gossiping and spreading the words of Karl collaborating with 'cheap' clothing store and becomes the end of the world for the elite.

I think the ad (date on 2009) was a job well done compared to other "Designer for H&M" ads. Most of them are too robotic, and quite mind-control-ish. Like these two ads:

This ad is by far the creepiest ad ever. Poor Lindsey and Daphne for being controlled like a puppet/robot. At the end Donatella Versace (chief designer for Versace) said, "My House, My Rule, My pleasure"...Damn it's creepy.

Inspirations

2011-12-14T01:00:00.002+08:00

I am not really well prepared for tomorrow night 'vintage' annual dinner. The theme itself had killed all my fantasies and imaginations, and the most important is, the fun in fashion. I was totally uninspired. The result : my style is more like a plain Jane rather than what I had expected.

Again, searching for inspirations, listening to songs, look at things that I found interesting (a tree, a painting, weird people, or whatever), try to draw but failed, and watching movies to sooth my nerves.

You know you are being inspired when you have that 'feeling' and it always comes to your mind, and somewhat influenced your thinking by expressing it either through art or clothing. I love people dressing up expressing their own originality, because some copycats usually wear something that came straight from a fashion magazine and look very 'typical'. I believe that we can only do that if we have an inspiration.

I tried to ignore the theme so that I would not feel 'constricted' by the law of fashion. So 2 weeks earlier, my house mates and I (were unintentionally) went to the funfair nearby. There was a band singing some old, romantic, quite vintage songs and I was suddenly felt inspired. The colourful lights and the joy of some kids running around creates a new environment for me. New feeling.

Romance

Reminded me of the movie "the notebook" from the scene where Noah was asking Allie out.

Intense Romance

Then a few days after, the word 'matador' kept playing in my head. I know that this is seriously out of our main focus for the theme, but the matador had given me the idea of romance and the feeling of admiration.

During the semester break, I found out that the famous professional bullfighter is one of the richest man in the world. The performance must be done correctly with the right postures and gestures to create the art of 'taming the beast' with such poise. If associated with salsa, it gives you the intense romance feel in it.

Dark Romance

There was a guy who was very famous with portraying dark romance and bondage in every of his designs. And speaking of bullfight, I remember that this guy did a good job with his RTW Spring/Summer 2002 collection (his first!) entitled "The Dance of The Twisted Bull".

He is... Alexander McQueen (RIP)

p/s-none of these are really what I'll portray at the dinner tomorrow. I'm just going simple.

Nightwish- Taikatalvi lyrics

2011-12-12T16:42:00.001+08:00

It's hard to translate the lyrics from Finnish to English, even the native in there thought so. So the translation is not the direct translation, it's just how it should mean/sounded like in English.

Taikatalvi

Lapsistain rakkain tää näyttämö on
Mis kuutamo kujillaan kulkee
Taipunut havu, kesä hoivassa sen
Valkomeren niin aavan
Joka aavekuun siivin
Saapuu mut kotiin noutamaan

Päällä talvisen maan hetki kuin ikuisuus
Mi pienen kissan jaloin luokseni hiipii
Tääl tarinain lähteellä asua saan mis
Viulu valtavan kaihon
Ikisäveltään maalaa
Laulullaan herättää maan

Magic Winter

Of my children the dearest one is this stage
Where the moonlight on its alleys advances
Bent sprig, summer in the care of
The White Ocean so wide
Which with the wings of a ghost moon
Arrives to retrieve me home

Upon the wintry earth, a moment like eternity
Which with the paws of a kitten to me creeps
Here at the tale’s roots I may live, where
A violin of vast longing
Its eternal melody paints
With its song awakens the earth

thanx: http://fuckyeahnightwish.tumblr.com/post/13510377247/taikatalvi-lyrics-translation

Valentino's Virtual Fashion Museum

2011-12-12T02:49:00.001+08:00

Download here. You need to install this into your pc first :D

I've always wanted to go to the fashion exhibition since I was a kid. With this programme, you can move around into the museum by hovering your cursor. There's a few rooms that you can enter consisting of Very Valentino-collections from decades, his muse, his favourite models and etc. Also, you can learn about the history of this famous designer, Valentino Garavani.

Vintage? History.

2011-12-10T01:48:00.001+08:00

Next week, we will be attending our first BMS dinner with the seniors. The theme is vintage.

Like WTF? IMO (in my opinion) vintage is more suitable for casual but if it's the Malay vintage, I guess it's quite acceptable as the Malay clothes like the 'nyonya kebaya' is still considered as formal. But I had tried so hard to put away the thoughts of Malay Vintage from my mind because it is so cliche. Again, my opinion.

So some people thought that this theme is my 'thing' since I like to dress up quite english vintage-y when I go to class. Yep I admit that I wore long skirt before but some of my styles are english vintage, and some of them are quite preppy-ish also. Knowing that I would be wearing vintage for the so-called 'formal' dinner really F me up because I've got no inspiration at all when thinking about it.

V.I.N.T.A.G.E. The first time they announced that it's going to be vintage, I was straight away thinking that the style would be from 20's, 40's, 60's and 80's.

Although I study the history of fashion more that anything else, I am not that familiar with the vintage history at all. But I guess the 'flashes' of some vintage clothings in my mind is actually the memories that I've either had or watched before.

1920's Fashion

So speaking of 20's I'd imagined this

1928

Gabrielle 'Coco' Chanel

Coco Chanel emerged in fashion in 1920's. The clothes in her days are simple, comfortable, but at the same time showing you some women's power in it. I just learned that at that moment women started to become free in what they're wearing. They started wearing short skirts or trousers rather that the 'victorian' style which was before the timeline. This style is what we called as 'flapper' or 'garconne' in french (pronounced gar-ssun), with a short sleek hair, shapeless shift dress, flat-chested, and smoke with the cigarette holder.

1940's Fashion

For 40-50's fashion, I started to think of John Galliano (ex-designer for Dior) because it was the year for tight-waist and full skirt clothings.

Dior 1954

I don't know how I know about 40's fashion, maybe because I had been the John Galliano's biggest fan for a while. Seriously, speaking of 40's it reminded me of his Haute Couture Spring Summer 2011 collection, which is my favourite runway show of the season.

the songs, the pose, the clothes, very Galliano

1960's Fashion

In the 60's fashion, the style had completely reminded me of Twiggy, a legendary fashion model, that change the fashion industry from showing curves to thin and androgynous look. And she was rocking the mod style as well.

Twiggy

The Beatles

I mean the mod style (color blocking and short, shapeless dress) really had influenced me a lot. Whenever people talking about vintage, it reminds me of this style. So it is very hard for me to go digging for some vintage items in my local store if what I could only think of is a short dress. I would never wear leggings, and if I wear with jeans than it will not look mod at all.

1980's Fashion
For 1980's style, one word- Heathers (1989) movie. Everything is oversized. Also because it's the time where our moms were at the age of 20-30, so it was the time where they can be fashionable and stuff. Haven't you all look at your mom's old photos? So I think the 80's style is pretty close to our heart actually.

I watched this movie for many times and it's probably the origin of Mean Girls movie that we watched nowadays. Also, Christian Slater is the hottest thing on earth!

Look at his eyes!! n___n

So these are solely my opinion about the style in the following timeline. Again, I am not so good at fashion history especially vintage, but when I did my research just now in http://winifredandbance.com/ (this website tells you about fashion history including the effect of World War II) about the 20's, 40's, 60's and 80's fashion, my point of view is the same as what they wrote. Thankfully I'm still on the right track.

But vintage as a theme? gives me headache.

updates

2011-12-09T23:27:00.001+08:00

aiyoh.. blogspot dah laen.. bila nk menaip kt sini rasa mcm tgh taip dlm MWord la plak.. terus teringat assignment tak siap lagi hahaha :D (amik ko rumet ak pon ckp ak tgh buat assignment hahaha)

anyway I just wanna give some quick updates, and this is REALLY not about art stuff. sigh.
These are not my designs either. It's just an ordinary dress that I found somewhere in my life in here (which I really don't want to explain about it) and they're just my interpretation of what should be worn with or the kind of pose that I want to see as campaign ads.

Again, I'm not going to tag this one under 'art' or 'fashion' since the drawings are very amateurish. I admit that my weakness is colouring, and as you can see here I haven't polished my drawing for months since I am very busy with my other life (which is studying medicine).

Since I am very attentive to detail I am quite disappointed of the result because at this point I'm supposed to know how to draw fabrics, the folds and the creases.

I forgot that I can edit and recolour using Adobe Photoshop since I am quite good at black & white gradient and shading just like the drawing that I did for this blog wallpaper. I am not THAT pro. I can't even use the layering technique in photoshop, it was all trial and error and I only use my touchpad to draw the shoe. I guess I'm losing the mojo of drawing with photoshop because I DONT HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THESE.

these 2 are from the same drawing, without the color I just want to show how we can cover up the body shape with the fringed-knitted cardigan or cape. With the color, I want to show the mermaid-shape of the dress. I edited the 2nd one to blue instead of red with Picasa.

the jumping issue (not really jumping though)

It's my hibernation season

2011-12-08T03:55:00.000+08:00

I think today is the first time I went to the morning class since the last two weeks. Don't worry, the 8am class is only once a week, so I didn't cut classes A LOT for this semester... yet.

A few days before, my laptop had suffered from "blue screen of death (BSoD) syndrome", a disease that had actually happened during my 5-weeks semester break but was eventually recovered. We (Acik and I) had done the best we could to save my bestbud, but at the end of the day, the best solution that we could do is to format the laptop (is that the term? idk). But after that it started to happen again so we sent the laptop to my mother's friend (aka her ex-patient) because he's the owner of a computer repair shop. He said that my Vista might be crashed so he changed it into windows 7. I don't really know about computer programmes and their terms, but from the microsoft website, it gives the steps of how to fix it, and if it's still not working- that means I have problem with my internal hard disk.

So it happened again, but luckily my class rep knows how to format the laptop :D I am so thankful for being able to use my bestbud again (though it sounds wrong). And from my friend's diagnosis, it is, probably caused by the internal hard disk. He's quite well known for being the computer geek. Not geek, literally or looking like a geek, but you know, the one that knows a lot about tech stuff especially computer. How come he knows a lot of things?

I'm now using my laptop but had promised myself that I will not play computer games or download anything for this week. Or at least 3 days. Maybe 2 days? ok, make it 3 days without games. Although I would probably go insane after this, but I guess I can do it. You know I'm the type of person that is very determined. If I want to do it, I'll do it. If I want to wake up early, then I will. but if I don't want to, I will not do it.

Speaking of waking up early (which is actually what I want to talk about regarding the title), to be honest, today is the first time in this few weeks that I wake up that early. I was born nocturnal so morning is actually the time where my hibernation starts. So today, since I was sleeping at my usual sleeping time (4 or 5 or 6 am), I woke up at 7am, slightly confused whether I DID sleep last night because I was thinking while sleeping.

Since my sleep-wake cycle is very different from other people since I was a kid, messing up with my hibernation hours by going to the morning class really messed up the system in my body. I was EXHAUSTED like hell, runny nose and teary eyes, sore throat, felt like I was about to have a fever and I lose interest in all things. But after noon, everything was normal again, I started to be able to concentrate in class and only a bit tired due to lack of sleep.

By: Mycardboardlife

I pray to God that my laptop and I will be in a better, healthy condition.

Retail therapy :)

2011-11-26T18:31:00.001+08:00

It has been almost 2 months that I didn't go shopping. Well, buying two blouses during my stay in my home town DOES NOT count as shopping!

I bought 2 pair of shoes last saturday

Black Flats -RM 45

Olive Green 3 inch Wedges -RM 80 (10% off)

For the flats, it's the exact kind of flats that I already had, except that this one is black and I bought this pair of shoes from the different shoe store (Licci, the old one is from Verns).

And yesterday, I went shopping again :p These are the items that I bought (chronologically) :

8 GB micro SD card -RM 65

The memory card was bought unintentionally. I was accompanying my friend at Lowyat because she wanted to buy a new phone :p Also because my phone needs a larger space to keep the pictures and games.

brown cinch belt -RM 25

Black and Olive Green cardigan (one for my sis) -RM 25 each

Collar T-shirt for my 3rd bro Acik -RM 35 (of course not ORI la)

Black loose blazer -RM 29

The blazer is my favourite stuff that I bought so far because I was searching for this kind of outerwear for months. The strong shoulder, very loose, buttonless style really make it easy to work with. Either let it hang loosely or give it a cinch of skinny belt on the waist, this blazer is definitely rocking the preppy, Tommy Hilfiger-ish look.

3 inch Sneaker-like Wedges -RM 39 (on sale)

pale turquoise vintage sling bag -RM 25

Probably people were thinking that I cannot control my spending habit, but actually I already made a fixed money-guideline for myself. I divided my money into four- some for paying bills and rent, some for food, some for shopping, and some to be saved for emergency. No need to tell how much the 'some' is but for me who only depend on my money and not my parents', the emergency saving is the most important. Since the bills and rent are fixed, I have to control the cost for food and shopping, either lowering or raising them, so that the (fixed) rest of the money is untouched. For me, people are unorganized not because of not taking any shower for weeks, but for not being able to track down their spending and savings.

ulala. whatever it is, I love shopping :)

macamana pilih komik

2011-10-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

so ari tu aku beli komik (atau dengan bahasa lainnya novel grafik) tajuk dye "sumpahan anak patung" ngan "Under 18- Fearless". YES!! tinggal sbijik under 18 lagi yang x beli out of 6 :D

nak buat review sikit, kalau under 18 tu memang kompem best, lawak, extreme, dan sempoi.

untuk komik ni plak, first thing aku beli komik ni sebab dye tulis "komik seram untuk 18 ke atas sahaja". so mesti seram tahap dewa punye hahaha.. Tapi bila baca, memangla cerita dye agak lain daripada yang lain, tapi sometime bila dye first2 jumpa barang berhantu tu agak cliche la gak.. sikit2 jumpa tepi jalan, after ko ditimpa masalah lepas tu terus terjumpa benda yang exactly boleh tolong ko kat tepi jalan. Most of jalan citer (ade banyak2 citer) dye lebih kurang macam ni ah.

Satu lagi yang aku tak suka, cerita dye berterabur, takde detail.. sekejap scene kat kelas, lepas tu lompat ke scene benda lain plak.. memang la biasa orang buat cite macam ni tapi cuba kau baca komik2 yang best macam "mengintai busur beradu" or komik seram karya Puyuh, dye lompat2 pon at least part yang penting dah di'explain' betul2.

Grafik plak macam kasar. Hantu dye okay tapi kalau ko tengok caner Puyuh illustrate every character and hantu memang nampak kesenian kat situ. haha

anyway kawan aku tanye, macamana aku pilih komik masa nak beli?

Since aku rasa macam kena bebel panjang aku pon tulis la kat sini (according to order)

1- penulis/pelukis : every time aku pergi survey komik, kompem aku cari yang karya Obataa Yuuki or Usami Maki. Da banyak komik aku beli from these 2 people memang style penulisan sangat mantop :D Detail tu ade sebab tu aku suka beli. Bukan ape, kadang2 bila ade detail kita akan rasa macam kita ade dalam citer tu (nak2 citer jiwang kan hahaha).. Diorang punye first karya pon da tahap penulis lain punye last karya.. kalau penulis from Malaysia plak, aku akan cari karya Zint (sebab scene action kemas, lawak pon kemas, lukisan pon kemas), Kaoru (sebab citer unik, karya artistic and cantik).. Kalau komik seram plak memang hands down from Puyuh. Grafik dye sangat artistik, cerita kemas, seram pon seram.

2- Cover: kalau lukisan tak kemas, kasar, and kaku, memang aku tak beli.. Sebab kalau character kaku and lukisan kasar sampai sakit mata, memang kompem citer pon tak kemas. Kadang2 citer cliche sangat sampai takde yang special, or kadang2 citer tak munasabah pon ade. Nak tau beza karya kemas tak kemas, korang kena selalu beli, baca and hayati every lukisan yang ada. compare ngan komik yang korang rasa best, tengok PERINCIAN.

3- Tebal: Kalau nama penulis pon tak kenal, cover pon suma cam bole blah je, aku akan opt-kan ke tebal komik tu. Biasa cerita yang detail dye kena tebal sket. Kalau tebal sangat pon nanti ko muntah plak, and kalau nipis sangat KOMPEM cite tu suka lompat sana sini, takde detail. Tapi aku akan amik risk beli komik tebal giler daripada nipis giler. Jalan citer pon smooth je.

blog to-do-list

2011-10-14T18:49:00.001+08:00

aku senaraikan benda yang aku nak tulis / dah tulis tapi simpan lam draft
bukan ape, senang sket kerja aku :D
tapi memandangkan kejap lagi aku nak balik kampung and ko tau2 la kalau guna broadband tu cane, nak2 kena share plak.. memang malas ah nak update.

So ni la benda yang maybe aku akan post kot cuma xtau lagi bila :p
1- pasal komik
2- people who inspire
3- game tutorial (utk perempuan sahaja): daripada download, install, ape itu keygen, ape itu extract, mount, crack
4- project baru (hehe)
5- 3 type of people: copycat, designer, and stylist dari sudut pandangan aku (kalau aku x buat pasal neh memang payah nak explain untuk post no.2)

set my mind

2011-10-01T05:34:00.000+08:00

Since I have a few days to prepare before the real final semester exam starts, I think I need to create a mindset that I am not studying because of exam, but I study because I want the knowledge so that I can become a doctor.

During the mid semester exam, I only managed to study like a few hours before exam, (because I could only spend my night with terawih and then I was very tired and I have to wake up early for sahur so I didn't study at night and straightly go to bed -Ramadhan is only once a year and this year might be my only chance) and studying just because I need to pass an exam makes me feel uncomfortable since I was torturing my body and mind to remember all the things that I've learnt.

The previous semester I've got the dean's list award.. It's when you scored the cgpa of 3.50 and above and mine is only 3.65
If you go to some local public universities, that cgpa is not even counted as excellent enough to be getting a dean's list award. Even if you scored 3.80 during your matriculation year, you're not even close enough to apply for medicine. And when I was in my school (science school), only people with cgpa 3.60 and above were awarded. I am not being such an ungrateful person here but you know, I live in a village and the villagers are like "you are only accepted in this community for studying in public universities, the rest of you are useless.. especially those in private universities."

So when they knew that I only scored 3.65 and having the award.. if you look straight into their eyes they were like saying "private universities as always, nothing special about it." And gosh I've been living in a community of perfectionists for years!

So as always I want to set my mind that I study not because of exam, but because I want to be a doctor.. I'm not going to push myself but I want to enjoy every moment of it, every knowledge that I just learnt.

A doctor study with understanding, and not 'vomit' all of the knowledge during the exam (and the next day you forgot). A student study without understanding, only to score well during exam.

I want to be a doctor, not a student.

L.A.M.O

2011-09-25T21:51:00.001+08:00

Let's all move on, for being a woman I may be acting like a bitch sometimes (and hence the name of my blog).

my biggest pet peeve is being blamed or have to take responsibility for a mistake that other people did.
second is when people talk about my past. even when I have a slight misunderstanding with my friend, we would just prefer to go on, pretending that nothing happen, rather than talking or remembering about what had happened between us.

seems like someone had already crossed the line, and bonus for being a guy, you're just dead to me now.

Troll let's get real

2011-09-21T04:09:00.000+08:00

Guess I'm the bad guy now.
Even when I don't give a damn about what other people are doing or thinking about me,
Even when my life is all about what I'm going to wear for tomorrow, what thing I want to draw, or what 'art' stuff that I'm going to create,
Even when my life is all about me and never about you.

Yeah I'm the bitch.
For going through my life as usual,
For forgetting whatever happened between me and you,
For spending my whole life- study and computer games, study and computer games,
Study and computer games.
For not give a damn about the fuck you are doing right now.

I hold a grudge, fuck yeah.
That the case that had entirely disappeared from my life,
That I'm moving on,
That I don't give a damn about you anymore anyway.

And suddenly you told me about my past- prove that I hold a grudge?
You are so 2000 late,
Because the things are settled after a week, or more than that, but settled anyway
Because I never ever deleted anybody on Facebook (except you)
Sorry but I don't give a damn about Facebook either
So where did you get this awfully shitty story man?
So if you want to troll, please try again.

Again with my past- stay away from it because everybody that involved were already MOVED ON
We are not a kid like you
What's done cannot be undone- the reason why I'm still keeping my post about them
I don't delete memories, I live with it. I embrace it.
How many times should I say to you people that I am a misandry, a feminist, a flower-power person?
No matter how many times people were hurting me,
At least I forgave them because they are woman.
I only give 1 chance to a man,
You blew it then you're dead,
It's simple.

Pity you,
You really have problems with yourself that you didn't realise that you're trolling right now.
You create lies and invent a shitload of stories so that people would feel sorry for you and not me.
That you can't accept that people do move on. I move on.
It's just not that I move on with you in my life again.

And you also,
Wise man said, "true friends will grab your hand as soon as they realise that you are falling or making a mistake"
People told me : she's your friend, not ours'
They told me : how could you not doing anything
But for being a friend I kept everything to myself,
But for being a friend I have faith in you, that you will never cross the line.
So I just don't give a damn about anything anyway.

But you can't accept that,
You thought every look is a killer stare,
You thought every silent means bitching,
You thought every 'do my normal job not talking' is a substitute for anger,
You thought this world is always about you.

This is not a poem,
Since people are so dumb to simply understand the obvious,
I think making my sentences in sections might help :D

The fact that I don't give a fuck about anything around me seems to make you guys tick. LOL

one year. three phases. a world of change.

2011-08-23T15:07:00.001+08:00

June 15th 2011- http://www.whatis-theplan.org/

Nov 5th 2011- I guess we'll have to wait (start the countdown)

anonymous is not a group, it is a cause.

critique-
http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/articles/anonymous-threatens-kill-facebook

extreme spooning rant

2011-08-23T02:00:00.000+08:00

Jesus rants and got mad of those relationship-retards :p

2011-08-13T03:12:00.000+08:00

most people said that he looks like the sexy version of Jesus :D bwahahaha

sometimes

2011-08-08T16:42:00.002+08:00

sometimes we tried so hard to exclude ourselves from being the so-called 'typical girl'. possibly too hard, because we ended up being one right now.

sometimes we wanted to be like other person because they're cool, but we turned out looking trashy and slutty.

sometimes we told people that we have our own stance, but we didn't realise that we're just a copy of our friends, a bad copy.

sometimes we think that nothing can stop us from anything, and that we have everything now, but as soon as we blink, God already decided to take everything that we borrowed from Him back.

sometimes we act like 'what's more important is inside, people should mind their own business' kind-of thing, but we didn't realise that every time we walk, we carry our family's dignity on our shoulders.

sometimes we thought that we can make a deal with God, that we will repent in some OTHER days, but probably after we're done reading this the laptop explodes, sending us straightly to the hereafter- waiting to be judged.

HB dad n__n

2011-08-08T16:38:00.001+08:00

A very Happy Birthday to my dad. actually birthday dye 2/8/1957. aku tak lambat wish kat abah aku, aku just lambat post lam blog je :D

dalam 2 minggu neh da 3x abah aku bank in duit, bila aku ckp xpayah dye ckp tu buat belanja bukak pose, kalau x pon buat baya duit blaja kete...macam la aku mkn banyak sangat. duit kete pon aku da simpan sikit2.

so masa ni aku rasa maybe abah aku kesian kat aku bukak pose sorang2 kat sini. entah makan ke tidak bla bla bla.. parents, biasa la tu. or maybe masa sambut bday dye ari tu aku xde :-/

For me, I have the best dad in the world. My dad taught me to cook based on instinct, while mom based on theories. ~~and me based on TV's.~~ kalau keluar kereta, dye bukakkan pintu lepas tu cakap "silakan tuan puteri" (but not being sarcastic). kalau aku tak lalu makan kat luar, dye suapkan food yang dye makan. masa kecik2 dulu, dye masakkan untuk aku before pergi sekolah (tom yam, kerapu masak steam, ikan masak masam manis.........perghhh!!!), siapkan aku pergi sekolah, bayangkan dye just ade a few hours je kat rumah sebelum dye kena kerja lagi sampai esok pagi, tapi still boleh spend masa untuk uruskan aku. kalau raya memang dye tak pernah dapat cuti tapi aku tak kesah pon sebab aku tau passion dye kat kerja dye and dah memang tanggungjawab dye. sekarang bila da naik pangkat sket alhamdulillah tak payah kerja time raya :D tapi kalau on-call kena pergi gak.

ye aku neh manja. ~~ke sebab ko tak dapat kasih sayang? hahahah~~

thanx dad.

love u dad n mum!

Arthur yg comel

2011-07-30T16:08:00.000+08:00

arthur is so childish...sangat comel!!!
he's so rich, he can even has his own cinema and boxing ring in his house :D

2011-07-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.

~Alexander Hamilton

o__O Ramadhan

2011-07-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

Determination.........check!

Interest.........check!

Enthusiasm....progress!

Time/schedule.....working on it!

Practice.........confidence is the key!

Stamina.........uhhhh

Yep. Da lame tak joging..

baru lepas sembahyang fardhu, kaki dah lenguh2

nak mengaji pon sempat baca satu surah je, lepas tu terus semput....

Ya Allah, bantulah kami untuk memperbanyakkan ibadah di bulan Ramadhan nanti...

easy breezy beautiful, covergirl

2011-07-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

wordless wednesday

2011-07-27T16:57:00.000+08:00

trip to bukit melawati w family

Gambaran Hari Kiamat

2011-07-26T00:32:00.001+08:00

akhirnya aku jumpa gak.. dulu mase form 3 kawan aku si Ody ade cite pasal buku yang dye bace
(blogwalking di asmadieanuar)

✐ Selepas Malaikat Israfil meniup sangkakala (bentuknya seperti tanduk
besar) yang memekakkan telinga, seluruh makhluk mati kecuali Izrail &
beberapa malaikat yang lain. Selepas itu, Izrail pun mencabut nyawa
malaikat yang tinggal dan akhirnya nyawanya sendiri.

✐ Selepas semua makhluk mati, Tuhan pun berfirman mafhumnya "Kepunyaan
siapakah kerajaan hari ini?" Tiada siapa yang menjawab. Lalu Dia
sendiri menjawab dengan keagunganNya "Kepunyaan Allah Yang Maha Esa
lagi Maha Perkasa." Ini menunjukkan kebesaran & keagunganNya sebagai
Tuhan yg Maha Kuasa lagi Maha Kekal Hidup, tidak mati.

✐ Selepas 40 tahun, Malaikat Israfil a.s. dihidupkan, seterusnya
meniup sangkakala untuk kali ke-2, lantas seluruh makhluk hidup semula
di atas bumi putih, berupa padang Mahsyar (umpama padang Arafah) yang
rata tidak berbukit atau bulat seperti bumi.

✐ Sekelian manusia hidup melalui benih anak Adam yg disebut "Ajbuz
Zanbi" yang berada di hujung tulang belakang mereka. Hiduplah manusia
umpama anak pokok yang kembang membesar dari biji benih.

✐ Semua manusia dan jin dibangkitkan dalam keadaan telanjang dan hina.
Mereka tidak rasa malu kerana pada ketika itu hati mereka sangat takut
dan bimbang tentang nasib & masa depan yang akan mereka hadapi kelak.

✐ Lalu datanglah api yang berterbangan dengan bunyi seperti guruh yang
menghalau manusia, jin dan binatang ke tempat perhimpunan besar.
Bergeraklah mereka menggunakan tunggangan (bagi yang banyak amal),
berjalan kaki (bagi yang kurang amalan) dan berjalan dengan muka (bagi
yang banyak dosa). Ketika itu, ibu akan lupakan anak, suami akan
lupakan isteri, setiap manusia sibuk memikirkan nasib mereka.

✐ Setelah semua makhluk dikumpulkan, matahari dan bulan dihapuskan
cahayanya, lalu mereka tinggal dalam kegelapan tanpa cahaya.
Berlakulah huru-hara yang amat dahsyat.

✐ Tiba-tiba langit yang tebal pecah dengan bunyi yang dahsyat, lalu
turunlah malaikat sambil bertasbih kepada Allah SWT. Seluruh makhluk
terkejut melihat saiz malaikat yang besar dan suaranya yang
menakutkan.

✐ Kemudian matahari muncul semula dengan kepanasan yang berganda.
Hingga dirasakan seakan-akan matahari berada sejengkal dari atas
kepala mereka. Ulama berkata jika matahari naik di bumi seperti
keadaannya naik dihari Kiamat nescaya seluruh bumi terbakar,
bukit-bukau hancur dan sungai menjadi kering. Lalu mereka rasai
kepanasan dan bermandikan peluh sehingga peluh mereka menjadi lautan.
Timbul atau tenggelam mereka bergantung pada amalan masing-masing.
Keadaan mereka berlanjutan sehingga 1000 tahun.

✐ Terdapat satu telaga kepunyaan Nabi Muhammad SAW bernama Al-Kausar
yang mengandungi air yang hanya dapat diminum oleh orang mukmin
sahaja. Orang bukan mukmin akan dihalau oleh malaikat yang menjaganya.
Jika diminum airnya tidak akan haus selama-lamanya. Kolam ini
berbentuk segi empat tepat sebesar satu bulan perjalanan. Bau air
kolam ini lebih harum dari kasturi, warnanya lebih putih dari susu dan
rasanya lebih sejuk dari embun. Ia mempunyai saluran yang mengalir
dari syurga.

✐ Semua makhluk berada bawah cahaya matahari yang terik kecuali 7

golongan yang mendapat teduhan dari Arasy. Mereka ialah:

ⅰ- Pemimpin yang adil.

ⅱ- Orang muda yang taat kepada perintah Allah.

ⅲ- Lelaki yang terikat hatinya dengan masjid.

ⅳ- Dua orang yang bertemu kerana Allah dan berpisah kerana Allah.

ⅴ- Lelaki yang diajak oleh wanita berzina, tetapi dia menolak dengan

berkata "Aku takut pada Allah".

ⅵ- Lelaki yg bersedekah dengan bersembunyi (tidak diketahui orang ramai).

ⅶ- Lelaki yang suka bersendirian mengingati Allah lalu mengalir air

matanya kerana takutkan Allah.

✐ Oleh kerana tersangat lama menunggu di padang mahsyar, semua manusia

tidak tahu berbuat apa melainkan mereka yang beriman, kemudian mereka

terdengar suara "pergilah berjumpa dengan para Nabi". Maka mereka pun

pergi mencari para Nabi. Pertama sekali kumpulan manusia ini berjumpa

dengan Nabi Adam tetapi usaha mereka gagal kerana Nabi Adam a.s

menyatakan beliau juga ada melakukan kesalahan dengan Allah SWT. Maka

kumpulan besar itu kemudiannya berjumpa Nabi Nuh a.s., Nabi Ibrahim

a.s., Nabi Musa a.s., Nabi Isa a.s. (semuanya memberikan sebab seperti

Nabi Adam a.s.) dan akhirnya mereka berjumpa Rasullullah SAW. Jarak

masa antara satu nabi dengan yang lain adalah 1000 tahun perjalanan.

✐ Lalu berdoalah baginda Nabi Muhammad SAW ke hadrat Allah SWT. Lalu

diperkenankan doa baginda.

✐ Selepas itu, terdengar bunyi pukulan gendang yang kuat hingga

menakutkan hati semua makhluk kerana mereka sangka azab akan turun.

Lalu terbelah langit, turunlah arasy Tuhan yang dipikul oleh 8 orang

malaikat yang sangat besar (besarnya sejarak perjalanan 20 ribu tahun)

sambil bertasbih dengan suara yang amat kuat sehingga 'Arasy itu tiba

dibumi.

✐ 'Arasy ialah jisim nurani yang amat besar berbentuk kubah (bumbung

bulat) yang mempunyai 4 batang tiang yang sentiasa dipikul oleh 4

orang malaikat yang besar dan gagah. Dalam bahasa mudah ia seumpama

istana yang mempunyai seribu bilik yang menempatkan jutaan malaikat di

dalamnya. Ia dilingkungi embun yang menghijab cahayanya yang sangat

kuat.

✐ Kursi iaitu jisim nurani yang terletak di hadapan Arasy yang dipikul

oleh 4 orang malaikat yang sangat besar. Saiz kursi lebih kecil dari

'Arasy umpama cincin ditengah padang . Dalam bahasa mudah ia umpama

singgahsana yang terletak dihadapan istana.

✐ Seluruh makhluk pun menundukkan kepala kerana takut. Lalu dimulakan

timbangan amal. Ketika itu berterbanganlah kitab amalan masing-masing

turun dari bawah Arasy menuju ke leher pemiliknya tanpa silap dan

tergantunglah ia sehingga mereka dipanggil untuk dihisab. Kitab amalan

ini telah ditulis oleh malaikat Hafazhah / Raqib & 'Atid / Kiraman

Katibin.

✐ Manusia beratur dalam saf mengikut Nabi dan pemimpin masing- masing.

Orang kafir & munafik beratur bersama pemimpin mereka yang zalim.

Setiap pengikut ada tanda mereka tersendiri untuk dibezakan.

✐ Umat yang pertama kali dihisab adalah umat Nabi Muhammad SAW, dan

amalan yang pertama kali dihisab adalah solat. Sedangkan hukum yang

pertama kali diputuskan adalah perkara pertumpahan darah.

✐ Apabila tiba giliran seseorang hendak dihisab amalannya, malaikat

akan mencabut kitab mereka lalu diserahkan, lalu pemiliknya mengambil

dengan tangan kanan bagi orang mukmin dan dengan tangan kiri jika

orang bukan mukmin.

✐ Semua makhluk akan dihisab amalan mereka menggunakan satu Neraca

Timbangan. Saiznya amat besar, mempunyai satu tiang yang mempunyai

lidah dan 2 daun. Daun yang bercahaya untuk menimbang pahala dan yang

gelap untuk menimbang dosa.

✐ Perkara pertama yang diminta ialah Islam. Jika dia bukan Islam, maka

seluruh amalan baiknya tidak ditimbang bahkan amalan buruk tetap akan

ditimbang.

✐ Ketika dihisab, mulut manusia akan dipateri, tangan akan berkata-

kata, kaki akan menjadi saksi. Tiada dolak-dalih dan hujah tipuan.

Semua akan di adili oleh Allah Ta'ala dengan Maha Bijaksana.

✐ Setelah amalan ditimbang, mahkamah Mahsyar dibuka kepada orang ramai

untuk menuntut hak masing-masing dari makhluk yang sedang dibicara

sehinggalah seluruh makhluk berpuas hati dan dibenarkannya

menyeberangi titian sirat.

✐ Syafaat Nabi Muhammad SAW di akhirat :

ⅰ- Meringankan penderitaan makhluk di Padang Mahsyar dengan

mempercepatkan hisab.

ⅱ- Memasukkan manusia ke dalam syurga tanpa hisab.

ⅲ- Mengeluarkan manusia yang mempunyai iman sebesar zarah dari neraka.

(Semua syafaat ini tertakluk kepada keizinan Allah SWT.)

✐ Para nabi dan rasul serta golongan khawas juga diberikan izin oleh

Tuhan untuk memberi syafaat kepada para pengikut mereka. Mereka ini

berjumlah 70 000. Setiap seorang dari mereka akan mensyafaatkan 70 000

orang yang lain.

✐ Setelah berjaya dihisab, manusia akan mula berjalan menuju syurga

melintasi jambatan sirat. Siratul Mustaqim ialah jambatan (titian)

yang terbentang dibawahnya neraka. Lebar jambatan ini adalah seperti

sehelai rambut yang dibelah tujuh dan ia lebih tajam dari mata pedang.

Bagi orang mukmin ia akan dilebarkan dan dimudahkan menyeberanginya.

✐ Fudhail bin Iyadh berkata perjalanan di Sirat memakan masa 15000

tahun. 5000 tahun menaik, 5000 tahun mendatar dan 5000 tahun menurun.

Ada makhluk yang melintasinya seperti kilat, seperti angin, menunggang

binatang korban dan berjalan kaki. Ada yang tidak dapat melepasinya

disebabkan api neraka sentiasa menarik kaki mereka, lalu mereka jatuh

ke dalamnya.

✐ Para malaikat berdiri di kanan dan kiri sirat mengawasi setiap

makhluk yang lalu. Setiap 1000 orang yang meniti sirat, hanya seorang

sahaja yang Berjaya melepasinya. 999 orang akan terjatuh ke dalam

neraka.

Rujukan: Kitab Aqidatun Najin karangan Syeikh Zainal Abidin Muhammad

Al- Fathani. Pustaka Nasional Singapura 2004.

☞ Jika sekiranya kalian ingin mengumpul saham akhirat, sampaikanlah

ilmu ini kepada sahabat² yang lain. Sepertimana sabda Rasulullah SAW:

❝ Sampaikanlah pesananku walaupun satu ayat. ❞ Sesungguhnya apabila

matinya seseorang anak Adam itu, hanya 3 perkara yang akan dibawanya

bersama :

① Sedekah/amal jariahnya.

② Doa anak²nya yang soleh.

③ Ilmu yang bermanfaat yang disampaikannya kepada orang lain

Lelaki = Khinzir

2011-07-25T16:32:00.001+08:00

Tajuk entry kali ni memang lebih misandry daripada biasa haha :D Sebenarnya benda yang aku nak bebelkan ni memang sangat2 berkait rapat dengan real life aku dan kawan aku sekarang. Sori kalau tersalah bagi hukum sebab ni semua hanya sekadar pendapat daripada aku je.

(ni aku baru belajar) Tidak haram memegang khinzir atau anjing, yang haramnya kalau makan je. Tapi wajib samak. Memandangkan orang malas nak samak, so lebih baik mengelak daripada terpegang binatang haram ni ye tak? So orang ramai mula la takut nak menyentuh binatang haram ni. Aku rasa kalau diberi peluang nak menyentuh binatang ni hidup2 tapi secara berlapik pon mesti korang taknak kan?

Bayangkan ketika anda sedang shopping baju, then baru perasan yang dye ade tulis "pig skin" kat benda yang korang dah pegang..Ape perasaan anda? Masa tu la korang rasa seolah-olah ade satu benda bertempek kat tangan, and selagi tak samak, selagi tu la tangan korang akan rasa kebas. Masa tu la anda akan angkat tangan (yang dah terkena kulit babi) tu tinggi2 sebab nak mengelakkan daripada tersentuh tangan manusia lain yang tak berdosa hahaha :D Pendek kata selagi tak samak selagi tu la hidup tak senang.

Tapi kenapa korang tak rasa ape2 bila sentuh bukan muhrim? Bukan dah sah2 haram ke?

kenape bila pompuan biasa korang pon selamba2 je nak sentuh2 tapi bila pompuan cun mula la nak buat2 alim? Ko ingat aku neh pompuan jenis ape ko nak pegang2?

Ko dah nampak kan aku (and kawan aku) memang takkan pegang laki and akan mengelak kalau kat tempat crowded sebab taknak tersentuh sape2, tapi kenape tangan ko still gatal nak tepuk2 belakang, bahu, tangan (and mane2 lagilah yang ko sempat buat)?

"rilek la, kawan je pon biasa la tu.."

ohsukahatiko.... ade ke dalil yang cakap bila dah kawan maknenye da bole naik pangkat jadi muhrim aku?

kalau nampak aku pegang benda and letak kat paha, selamba je ek ko ambik.....
selamba je ko cuit bahu dengan tangan ko sebab nak suruh aku pas barang......
suka hati ko je nak tepuk2 belakang......
suka hati je sentuh2 orang...
tak rasa tangan tu macam panas kena bakar ke?

no groping u jackass!!

biasa kalau terlanggar dengan non-muslim, diorang akan cakap sori.. kalau belajar kereta dengan non-muslim pon diorang akan cakap "sori ye saya pegang". ni kalau non-muslim yang paham. kalau yang tak reti bahasa tu selamba pegang2 aku, aku cuma mampu sengih je la... tapi dlm hati nak terpekik terlolong mcm orang gile U__U

kalau muslim plak, da langgar buat bodoh, kadang2 saje je nak dekat2, kalau nak ambik benda yang aku hulur kalau boleh dengan tangan2 aku pon nak ambik skali U___U

aku bercakap ni pon bukan sebab agama, tapi sebab pendirian aku
my body is temple, aku respect badan aku
kalau sape2 senang2 nak pegang aku tanpa kebenaran, maknanye orang tu tak hormat aku jugak la kan?
tak boleh ke ko aplikasikan perasaan pegang babi tu sama dengan pegang tangan pompuan? same macam aku rasa jijik bila bersentuhan dengan ko?

my friends

2011-07-22T17:42:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXsKFy6E_24

Ratuku...
Ingin ku luahkan,
apa yang sudah lama ingin kuluahkan,
tentang kebimbanganku ini,
tatkala melihat bunga-bunga berguguran,
dipetik tangan-tangan yang ganas,
lagi bernafsu serakah,

ratuku...
Kebimbangan ini,
masih menebal,
apabila mendengar,
dengungan kumbang perosak,
yang cuba menyedut madumu,
walau tanpa relamu,

ratuku...
Kebimbanganku bertambah lagi,
bila kulihat bunga,
yang tak segan silu,
melampiaskan kecantikannya,
ketika sedang mekar,
melupakan kuntuman,
yang sebelum ini melindunginya
ratuku...
Aku masih terpinga-pinga,
masih wujudkah lagi,
ratu idaman hatiku,
kerana apa yang kulihat,
hari ini,
semakin banyak bunga-bunga gugur,
bagaikan tibanya musim luruh

ratuku...
Bukanlah ku harap,
kau segigih siti hajar,
yang berlari-lari,
antara safa dan marwa,
bukan juga sesetia ainul mardiya,
menanti kekasih di pintu syurga

ratuku...
Akuilah hakikat yang tersurat,
engkau bukanlah siti khadijah,
mahupun siti fatimah,
engkau bukan aishah,
bukan juga rabiatul adawiyah,
wanita suci terpuji,
kerana,
aku tidak layak berharap sedemikian rupa

cukuplah sekadar,
kau cuba mencontohi,
bunga-bunga itu,
kembang mekar mewangi,
sehingga harumannya,
melewati pintu-pintu syurga

jangan kau risau ratuku...
Kadangkala musim berganti,
sehingga bunga,
tak dapat berkembang mekar,
tapi itu hanya ujian buatmu

ratuku...
Esok musim bunga,
pasti akan tiba,
dan kau akan berkembang lagi,
cuma yang ku harapkan ketika itu,
kau jaga kelopakmu itu,
jangan sampai,
tangan-tangan kasar memetikmu lagi,
jangan goda,
kumbang-kumbang ganas menghisap madumu,
jangan biarkan,
gagak-gagak hitam itu merosakkan serimu,
kerana,
kau ratu idaman kalbu

ratuku...
Aku bukanlah,
memandang kecantikanmu,
walaupun kadangkala,
aku tertarik memandangnya

tapi,
bukan itu yang kuharapkan,
aku yakin ratuku,
masih ada sinar harapan,
yang bisa membuatku tersenyum lega,
kerana akan kutemui,
ratuku yang benar-benar ratu

yup.ok.oh well.

2011-07-22T00:12:00.001+08:00

Mom told me that being selfish is the only key to survive.
Dad taught me that we should give everything to the needy.
And I'm totally stuck in the middle.
But both told me that breaking promises means hell fire for you forever.

This week, almost the entire days, I had become a yes-man to everybody.

I skipped class just so that I can accompany my friend to settle down her important matter. This is not the "You wanna hang out?"-type-of friend, but more to "Err...come again?"-girl that you met in class. I just can't say no because I had already promised her (and plus I was looking for something in that same place too), not knowing that she changed her plan to do it at the same time the class was supposed to start.
I don't mind skipping class (at all) but since my attendance list is filled with the 'absent' mark on it, I thought that when I was already in there, then I should just go to that class...

Then there's another story (but I dont have time to write about it yet)

Since I just want everybody to be happy, I tend to make promises to almost everyone that I am able to help them. But when everything happened at the same time, and would quite ruin my life for that day, I tend to make excuses so that they would not feel hurt or anything... but when the same thing happen to that same people again, knowing that I had already broke my promises before, I then made another promise and convinced them that I am willing to help. Later, it turns into another excuses again.

So the cycle begins. You know you are quite worthless for breaking promises then yet you did another promise so that you can forgive yourself when seeing such happy faces from the people you just helped. But then when you realise that you are actually gonna do all of the promises at the same day and you are totally incapable of doing it, you create excuses and more excuses. For not fulfilling their wishes, you are at guilt and promised yourself that you must help them in the future.

I feel very bad because I kinda tortured my own self for this week.

Bye Bye beautiful (Nightwish)- some part that i wanna share

2011-07-21T18:27:00.001+08:00

It's not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

...How blind can you be, don't you see...
...that the gambler lost all he does not have...

Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don't you see
You chose the long road but we'll be waiting

Bye bye beautiful

Imaginarium by Nightwish

2011-07-19T01:30:00.000+08:00

In the midst of recording a new album, Nightwish has been preparing a movie.

"Imaginarium" is a music fantasy - film based on the forthcoming Nightwish album of the same title and its 13 songs.

The protagonist of the film is a songwriter with an otherworldly imagination. He is an old man who still thinks he`s a young boy. While asleep he travels into his distant past where his dreams of old come back to him mixed to the young boy`s world of fantasy and music.

In his dreams the old man fights to find the memories most important to him.

This never-done-before project originates to more than two years in the past when Tuomas first introduced his ambitious idea of the Imaginarium - concept to the fellow band members and to Mr. Stobe Harju, the director behind "The Islander" - music video. He will be the director of this full-length feature. The film will be produced by Solar Films Inc. together with Nightwish.
The shootings for "Imaginarium" will begin this spring, it will have its premiere in 2012 and the album it`s based on will be released in an undefined point in time.

Please please please aku hope sangat movie ni berjaya ditayangkan dan best :D
aku sgt yakin dengan idea Tuomas sebab dye memang seorang lyricist yang sangat hebat.. tapi xsure idea ni nanti 'diolah' dgn cara yg macamana....

art that is not so art

2011-07-19T01:14:00.001+08:00

my friend was quite pissed seeing me drawing this for the gross anatomy of the kidney. She said that it's better for me to spend my 'wasted time drawing this piece of shit' by finishing up my other unfinished lab reports.

At least I don't waste my time FB-ing when I should have concentrate on doing my assignments *rolling eyes*. I was quite blur at that time because I spent about less than 10 minutes doing this (it's just smudging!) and I was actually wasting my 2hour-time blogging and Youtube-ing, so I just said "at least I'm happy".

I don't have the talent to draw things, so I have to keep improving all the time. This time I'm practicing the smudging technique, because last time I've learnt the shading technique, the criss-cross, the pressure on the pencil, and so on...

I know it's over-smudging but I was quite hyper at that time (coffee+Nightwish music)

really? u r married

2011-07-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

bro, u are married.

just now my brother (the eldest one) called, saying that he had already bought the Raya ticket (i mean tiket bus, bukan tiket raya concert ke hape) for me.

He then asked me for the money. sebab dye ckp dye pokai.

Shit! Ko bukan da kawin ke? maknenye ko da ready nak bg makan anak bini ke? kalau dulu xpela sbb ko tak kawin lg :-/

So aku agak bengang bila dye ulang2 bnyk kali nak claim duit ngan aku... sebab aku skang neh tgh pokai gile. Bulan ni punye bil rumah mmg plg mahal sbb kena bayar unifi lg (since broadband dulu2 abah aku bayar).... nanti nak beli kipas lg (sbb nak jimat air-cond)... and then nanti nak bayar duit blaja kete lg :-/

At this moment nak je aku msj kakak aku tapi nanti kakak aku bgtau mak aku then mak aku pegi call abang aku balik then abg aku call aku plak ckp apsal pegi report kat ma blah blah..........

Ari tu (tyme bersih rally) bdk2 area shah alam pon takut nak kuar... so aku pon ckp kt mak aku food stock da abis and aku just makan nestum je utk ari tu...trus dye marah2 abang aku and abang aku pon call aku balik ajak makan... and cakap "lain kali kalo nak makan cakap....blah blah.......ni ma bebel blah blah....."

THE POWER OF THE YOUNGEST CHILD YANG DA LAME TAK BALIK BWAHAHAHAAH!!

memandangkan abang aku tengah gelak2 and probably dye agak happy kot ari ni (or maybe nak cover je), aku pon tanak ah spoil mood dye dengan report kat kakak aku then my mom... but seriously since aku dok MSU neh aku just guna duit elaun aku je... tak penah2 mintak ngan parents aku although diorang nak bagi... sbb mase kecik2 dulu aku nampak kot diorang kerja kuat gile.. so bila da besar neh aku sepatotnya meringankan beban diorang la..

tolong la sape2 yg nak kawin or dah kawin... before ko gatal sgt nak kawin, make sure ko da ready utk ade responsibility; towards your family, adik2, and mertua punya family.

abang aku yang 2nd plak (although sgt jarang jumpa) kalau dye balik dye bagi duit kt parents, kat adik2 dye lg 3 org, da bole beli kereta sendiri... and selalu kena puji ngan mak aku yang gaji abang aku yg 2nd tu walaupun sikit drpd dye but still bole tolong mak bapak jugak.

my mom da ckp depan2 abang aku yg 1st tu.. dye ckp "tu la, duit ade tapi tak bagi mak bapak....skarang slalu sangat takde duit, tak berkat la tu..." Bila mak aku da cakap pasal tak berkat, tu da kira macam doa la kan? tapi abang aku yg 1st tu tak paham2 jugak

something to do with ur akhlak

2011-07-18T01:24:00.001+08:00

hati panas........!!!

stalk2 org (kawan kpd kawan aku), tengok2 dye bergamba dgn Dato' Jimmy Choo...Jimmy Choo!!
aku menyumpah2 sebab jeles tahap kapan (erk..tahap ape ni ek)

anyway, just nak share this quote from citer "Aku Masih Dara"....... ni penting! sbb kawan aku yang suruh share sbenanye :D

"seorang perempuan mempunyai 9 darjah keaiban; iaitu malu, bila kesemua darjah keaiban itu hilang dalam diri seseorang wanita, maka rosaklah akhlaknya. berlakulah maksiat, penzinaan.............bila adanya dosa2 besar susah untuk kita mendapat ketenangan dalam diri........"

jangan kerana nak mengejar keseronokan dunia, kita lupa pada Allah... kita sepatutnya malu dengan Allah sebab Allah dah mempermudahkan segala urusan kita selama ni. Jika kita yakin suatu hari nanti kita akan bertaubat (selepas berbuat kemungkaran), adakah kita yakin kita sempat bertaubat sebelum ajal sampai? adakah kita yakin taubat kita (yg kononnya taubat nasuha la sgt) dapat menghapuskan dosa2 kita yang lalu?

end.

art wednesday

2011-07-13T18:27:00.002+08:00

aku ulang lagi skali, I know that 'art' people would not consider this as an art. unless you are an art student in an art university, then people would say, "OMG your creations are so artistic! I can see that you are expressing your anger through bla bla, this strokes means bla bla......" U___U

there's a story about this one boy who went to an art museum/gallery and put his primary school drawing on a wall and asked the people in there to give their opinions. what they say was like " I like how the artist tried to play with the texture bla bla, i think it means bla bla....." God how pathetic human beings are.

so for this Art Wednesday segment (sejak bile ade ntah) I would like to share with you about what I've been doing last week. I bought a set of multi-coloured plasticine because I was thinking of doing this since last year. Thanks to my roomate for helping too!!

anyway my housemate kinda buat aku terasa sket. Dye tanye aku kenape aku maen plastisin and said "mase kecik2 dulu tak pernah maen plastisin ek"...nak je aku jawab "I don't know I just wanna do a life-like things, as an art and not as a kindergarten project."

tapi since dye tu memang terlalu baik (more to naive la kot), aku just pikir dye just x pandai nak susun ayat la tu...

ntah la dulu aku da penah citer, aku kecik2 suka reka2 benda, buat miniature, and those are my type of toys.

Happy Art-ing guys!!! n___n

Aku (except yang part study kot)

2011-07-13T17:53:00.001+08:00

Dia.

1. Menjadi dia memang menyedihkan. Hidupnya sangat minima dan ringkas. Sedang kawan-kawannya mempunyai dslr, sibuk membeli tiket kapal terbang untuk berjalan jauh menyelongkar rahsia kota eropah, dia hanya terduduk di atas sofa di rumah. Dia melihat gambar mereka bergaya di papan-papan tanda atau monumen tengah kota di ruang maya mukabuku dengan alis yang layu.

2. Bangun pada pukul 12.30 petang. Kawan-kawan menggunakan istilah 'tiada kehidupan' dalam menggelarkan kehidupan dia. Apa yang mereka tidak faham, bagi dia, inilah kehidupan. Di lantai bilik, atas katil, dan atas meja penuh berselerak dengan buku bacaan. Dia ialah penghidu tegar candu kertas.

Sesekali merenung dari jendela tingkap melihat bandar berjalan, sambil mencoret-coret bait kata indah untuk sebuah puisi mudah. Harinya tiada yang indah.

3. Dia menggilai seni, sesuatu yang muluk seperti puisi, lukisan, muzik, wayang gambar, fotografi. Meminati Claude Manet, Faisal Tehrani, Canon dalam not D, hanya untuk hidup dalam kolam khayalan yang direka-reka sendiri.

Namun, dia hanya memiliki sebatang rekoder pelajar sekolah rendah untuk dibuat dayung dalam kolam yang luas.

4. Kala langit hujan, pasti engkau dapat melihat dia mendepakan tangan ke langit, sambil kepala dongak ke atas penuh pengharapan pada air hujan. Engkau kemudian akan keliru sama ada itu ialah air hujan atau tangis penuh kepiluan.

Namun, aku merasakan dia sebenarnya sedang 'menghadap' audiens dalam dewan besar dan bunyi hujan itu adalah tepukan untuknya yang paling gemuruh sekali.

5. Dia tidak gemarkan gajet, begitu juga perhatian. Telefon genggamnya sudah terbakar lampu LED dalam skrin, selain calar balar. Pernah dia dipaksa untuk menukar oleh teman dan rakan, setelah kesulitan untuk menghubung yang dialami mereka.

Hanya untuk mengetahui, telefon genggamnya yang baru kurang 100 nilai monetari, dan ianya dalam RM, bukan euro.

6. Di jalanan, dia membawa beg sandang hitam berisi satu dua buku sambil jalan berseorangan. Sedang di tangan hanyalah sebuah nasi bungkus dalam polisterina yang akan dinikmatinya berseorangan sambil menghadami isi buku di sebuah medan selera, pada mana-mana saja meja kosong. Seelok-eloknya, di penjuru kedai jauh dari keramaian.

Dan kita akan memandangnya sebagai lelaki yang kalah (loser)

7. Sedang hakikatnya, dia ialah lelaki minimalis.

karya asal oleh Tuanku ~~A Samad Said~~ Amirul Hamudin

I never fancied novels or poetry, but this guy is naturally talented. He was able to express his thought in whateva styles BUT at the same time remains as moderate as he is. ~~Tanak puji ko lebey2 haha~~

anyway the reason why I copied this post is because I just want to remind myself (and my friends) that it's not wrong to be yourself. I don't have to change the way I look and do the things that I don't like to do just so that I can look 'cool' in front of other people. The truth is, my friend, people don't give a shit about the 'cool checklist' anymore. You are cool when you are yourself, not being a copycat, ada pendirian, and just don't give a damn to what people want you to be.

Yes I'm a loser. I'm a loser when I choose drawing and doing other art stuff and just stay at home instead of going out. I'm a loser when I tried to find the purpose of my doings instead of just having fun. I'm a loser for keeping my old-fashioned thought instead of just doing it like other people did. But hey, cool never exist anyway.

Ramadhan!!

2011-07-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

Tak sabar nak puasa, although aku sebenarnya takut sebab tak biasakan diri...Tu la, puasa ganti awal2 masa orang lain tengah puasa 6, then nak puasa sunat ke hape ke malas. Tapi yang buat aku tak sabar ialah my journey dah nak sampai ke bulan yang penuh kemuliaan dan keberkatan.. Insyaallah kalau sempat.

Tahun ni aku dah 20tahun, dah dewasa (ye ke haha). For this Ramadhan semua benda kena buat sendiri. Daripada bersahur ke berbuka ke amal ibadat...sape tak excited!!

teringat masa SPM dulu aku ngan housemate aku (padahal lepak bilik org) berlumba-lumba nak mengejar malam LailatulQadar. Sambil2 stay up malam2 study. Since aku memang dilahirkan nocturnal, prasan gak malam Ramadhan tak sama dengan malam2 masa bulan2 lain. And masa tu la aku tak takut hantu sebab suma dah kena ikat haha :D

Tapi bulan Ramadhan untuk tahun2 selepas tu just biasa je, sekadar berpuasa. Rasa macam rugi gile. sape soh malas.

So tahun ni sempena aku berpuasa sebagai seorang dewasa aku nak make sure aku manfaatkan masa yang singkat ni dengan sebaik-baiknya.

Takut kalau cakap2 karang tak buat, so marilah kita sama2 doakan yang terbaik untuk semua.

Amin.

get well (very) soon :(

2011-07-05T02:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Edd,
Please recover from your illness. You had brought me such happiness when I'm watching your videos for years. It's been almost 3 months and I just knew it (your condition) a few moment ago, but there's no sign of you being well or making new video again :( I'm not wanting you to recover just for the sake of pleasing me with your funny animations, but I want you to become healthy so that you can feel inspired again and be passionate again to express your ideas and feelings through your art. You are so strong. My prayers are with you.

Eddsworld is a flash animator.
on wiki (er.. i didn't know that)
his website
newgrounds (here u can see that he improves a LOT. from just a rough flash animations to the awesome one)
youtube (not all videos uploaded here though)

I love High Heel.

2011-07-03T02:04:00.000+08:00

Drag queen acrobatic performance. Can you believe that they landed on high heels?!!

Semi-final. But the audition one is better i think U___U

coretan si pemalas

2011-06-24T01:35:00.001+08:00

Hi. sorry lame tak update. Tau aku bukan ade pembaca tegar yang selalu stalk blog orang (macam aku) tapi aku memang ade banyak citer, cuma terlalu busy. sekarang nak tulis, demam la plak. Demam sikit2 je ditemani nosebleed yang dah 4 kali dalam minggu ni and a bloody(i mean literally) phlegm. eww.

So amekla ko post aku yang paling malas untuk bulan ni.

Beberapa minit yang lepas, aku boring giler wat homework, so aku pon menjalankan aktiviti Nightwishing- stalk Nightwish band ade album baru ke tak. Nak stalk blog orang laen malas.

Taste music aku memang kompem opera/symphonic type of rock/metal, sebab aku minat opera and metal at the same time. Lagipon lagu dye sentimental tapi dalam music yang agak 'keras'. Tapi tak terlalu hard sebab nanti kang lupa ayat2 Al-Quran yang aku penat kena hafal masa sekolah dulu. Tak bermakna aku tak minat opera klasik ye, pasal lagu2 opera 'evergreen' italian and spanish memang aku daa hafal hahaha :D

Anyway aku nak simpan the best video for the last, so korang baca je la bebelan aku yang agak merapu ni dulu. Band yang agak 'girl power' sebab pompuan as vocalist aku rasa memang ramai la yang akan cakap Evanescence. Dye pon best gak tapi aku layan lagu2 lama je la. Other band yang aku suka:

Within Temptation

Promotional Short Film from their new album 'The Unforgiving'. Actually aku nak citer pasal theme dye for this year yang almost similar to MCR. WT pon buat album guna konsep komik, tapi dye macam buat lagu untuk komik (sebab lagu based on character and storyline of the comic), while MCR sebab vocalist dye memang buat komik and he tried to express the comic 'style' through his music. Ntah la aku pon malas nak mengkaji. Video ni agak panjang (dan makan broadband korang-lantak la sebab aku da pakai unifi hahaha) sebab dye merge dua video skali- short film + music video 'faster'. At 2:30-3:00 (why not me track) suara mak cik ni la yang slalu dok kejut aku pagi2 dulu hahaha sebab suara dye agak creepy :D

Epica

Simone Simmons memang bidadari syurga, sebab suara yang terlalu angelic comes with such a beautiful face. Aku dah lama tak dengar lagu from this band, sebab dulu ada satu lagu dye cakap "La ilahailallah" at the end. Lagu tu pasal perang and bla2 tapi aku pon tak sure dye di pihak yang mana, and either dye mempermainkan perkataan tu or dye saje nak tunjuk support ~~tapi tak sedar dye da terconvert masuk Islam~~. So aku stop dengar lagu from makcik neh. Aku pon takdela suka sangat denga music dye, sebab ala2 nak same je ngan lagu2 dye yang laen, xde variety.

Nightwish
thanx to encik DarioSsj4. although video lama, tapi HD beb!

lagu fav aku. But since the vocalist (Tarja) kena kicked atas sebab2 tertentu dan diganti dengan Anette, aku pon da malas nak layan band metal turns into pop neh. hahaha. Nightwish sangat best pada aku. setiap music style dye memang lain, lyric yang out of this world, music yang power and vocal yang strong nak mampus. Perfect combination. As you can see, each member or the band are very passionate in their own field. Each of them macam nak make love dengan instrument masing2, which is aku suka sebab with this kind of attitude la music diorang jadi best gile. Tarja now goes solo, strong voice tapi sayang music tak sehebat masa dalam Nightwish dulu.

and this is the new Nightwish- although aku tak suka band ni dah tapi this song sangat nice :)

this one was done by the 2nd vocalist Marco. Dulu aku tak berapa suka sangat dye neh sebab biasa dye akan buat suara 'devil', but in this video he convinced me that he can sing :D And that guy yang muka macam Jack Sparrow tu ialah Tuomas Holopainen, orang kuat Nightwish. Dye la yang buat most of the songs in which he plays the organ in the band. Although Tarja da kawen dengan manager dye ke sape ntah, Tuomas meluahkan perasaan dye kat Tarja through the songs. Orang kata kalau lirik2 yang romantik2 neh dye tuju kat Tarja, and Tarja nyanyi lagu yang dye buat tu. Tapi nak buat camana da dye da kawen, so buat bodoh je la. Tapi siyes aku pon cair dengan lirik2 tu hahaha :D

aku nak tido.

beware my kelantanse

2011-05-26T22:31:00.001+08:00

esok nak balik Kelantan. Rasa semangat macam balik kampung from obesea je hahaha :D
ari tu aku da balik, tengok laman rumah, dalam rumah, dapo semua, memang banyak kerja nak kena settle sebab abang aku nak kawin cuti neh. since aku balik kampung, aku x pernah lagi ade mase rehat straight sepanjang cuti, macam ari tu aku kena pergi penang gi ajak2 relative datang mjlis kawin nanti, dulu2 cousin aku from penang dtg tido rumah, so kena layan diorang plak.

being the youngest child yang paling susah nak di-impress, of course la mak aku tanak cite problem psl abang aku yang x berapa nak matured neh. Ni pon sbb aku dulu demand gile kat (mana2) bakal akak ipar aku... tanak yang macam tu la, ni la... tapi yang masalah nye abang aku kenalkan awek dye kat aku dulu (sebab dye pikir kalau aku bagi greenlight maknenye orang laen bagi la kot) and aku da tengok mcm2 'form' of 'bakal kakak ipar' (term yang abang aku selalu sebut depan aku) yang dye tunjuk, depan aku lain, depan mak aku mula la nak buat baik, pakai elok2 suma.

Since abang aku ingat kawin ni just pakai air liur basi and kerja2 suma sesenang buat kek pasir, so bnyk la flaw yang belum ditampal2 lagi although lagi seminggu majlis nak jalan(i mean, start). Nasib baek ade mak sedara (Mak Muda) yang memang kepakaran dye since dye bukak kedai yang urus kahwin ni suma. So hopefully mak aku tak tension la neh, tambahan segala perbelanjaan guna duit mak aku. Ko ingat abang aku kerja dye bole tolong kitorang ke..... segala saman 4x tak baya2, baiki kete 2x, suma mak aku yang settle kan. Aku tak tau la mak aku cekau duit kat mana, tapi sempat lagi la dye renovate porch and pagar rumah taun neh. 2-3 tahun lepas renovate tambah bilik, dapo and ruang tamu. Aku pon tak tau 'orang2 berkeluarga' neh simpan duit kat mane, yang pasti abah aku memang confirm masuk dlm 'rat race' (bagi yang baca rich dad poor dad). ok aku bebel lagi.

aku cuma nak cite pasal bahasa kelantan aku je... orang cakap aku cakap kelantan pelik.. mak aku pon cakap aku mcm tu gak. tapi macam aku kata dulu aku neh jenis tak suka bercakap so aku akan pendekkan words and cakap laju. maybe sebab tu pelik kot.

so tadi chat ngan kakak aku.. aku pon gelak tengok bahasa aku

pahamkan sendiri ye

ape yang berbalas2 neh? bola ke? biar orang tua2 macam aku je tau hahah :D

actually ni pasal dulang (par or pa).... mak aku nak bagi 9 je tapi tadi abg aku call suruh tambah lagi 2.. amboi2 senang je ko ek... ko ingat dulang hantaran ni bole muncul pakai jampi je? then mak aku pon 'naikkan' suara sket. then abang aku majuk (whadafak!).

actually ade orang nk sponsor lagi 2 dulang tapi abang aku x explain betol2. ni pon awek dye yang explain (siap nangis2 suma). then dipendekkan cite, mak aku tambah gak jadi 11 tapi x amek sponsor tu. Sebab masa aku kecik2 dulu mak aku cakap kalau laki disponsor hilang la maruah dye. Aku pon setuju. Ni la namanya ego lelaki yang bertempat. masalahnya mak laki tu yang tolong jagakan maruah dye, bukan laki tu sendiri.

aku bebel lagi.

anyway aku gelak gile2 kat ayat "kito tamboh par sbb ade org tolong tamboh ko kito ko ke ko sek kakxa?"
da macam bahasa katak dah mwahahah. tapi yang besnye, diorang paham je bahasa yang direka macam neh. macam mak aku kadang2 tak payah cakap ape2, just bagi sound effect dye reka sendiri pon orang laen boleh paham dye cakap ape.

tu je yang aku nak bagitau sebenanye.

subconsciously influenced

2011-05-24T02:54:00.000+08:00

saya sangat senang nak terpengaruh dengan benda yang saya tengok or study.

contoh:

everytime smayang mesti aku TERniat maghrib, then tuka balik ke niat yg betul. Ni sebab masa umur 7 tahun, first time aku belajar smayang is smayang maghrib and only maghrib (sebab parents busy). then lama2 baru tambah ke isyak, asar, zuhur and lastly subuh. so memang separa sedar pergi sebut "usolli fardhu maghribi" in every prayer time.

masa main game Nancy Drew, aku (sebagai Nancy) pergi report kat bos aku yang rakan sekerja aku tu la yang selalu buat kacau dalam ofis. padahal ade option nak bagitau ke tak tapi aku da memang sejak lahir memang jahat macam ni hahaha :D So orang tu pon kena pecat. The next day, (secara separa sedar kot) aku hampir2 nak pegi bercerita kat kawan aku pasal benda jahat yang aku buat semalam sampai buat orang kena pecat. Siyes aku konpius gile2 sebab tak tau which one yang reality sbenanye :D

then yang paling latest (which is 2 hari lepas)....aku tengok movie avatar the last air bender (yg orang betul, bukan kartun). then malam tu mase tengah mandi aku (skali lagi secara separa sedar) pegi water-bending la plak :D hahaha

then aku kompius plak apsal air tak gerak2 macam dalam movie tu. Skali lagi aku tak ble nak differentiate reality and fantasy U___U

happy and contented and blush!!!

2011-05-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

Thanx Madhi, my SESTERian sister for calling me all the way from UK. You're the one who kept motivating me to not to give up when I was in A Level before. And I'm going to do the same to you too :)

Last night (or should I say this morning since it was already 5am), I wanted to 'play' with my eyeliner (thanx to my dearest roommate for buying it!) so bad. But since no one in this world want to wear makeup before they go to sleep and I was already sleepy at that time, I decided to use it on my hand instead haha :D

it moves when you stretch your fist

guna celak serbuk haha. actually aku banyak kali tukar akar pokok neh (x reti nak buat), sebab bese kecik2 dulu reti lukis pokok je, then akar dye sorok dengan batu bata hahaha :D

anyway sakit gile tgn aku mase nak lukis, sebab kena banyak dab2 and tonyoh2 urat. mase lukis tu rasa macam kena cucuk intravenous la plak, sebab ade urat yang da start bengkak and rasa sengal2... but bangun tido tadi da x rase ape2 :)

Another greek mythology in my simple language

2011-05-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

Sambil2 tengok lateshow 8TV (which ade music videos tapi aku xtau tu dye panggil rancangan ape), aku pon tertengok video clip lagu Sunday by Hurts (google lyrics dye baru la aku tau sape yang nyayi haha). Benda yang buat aku tertarik nak dengar lagu dye is because of the music video n___n It has the element of bondage and quirkiness, which is the type of style that I love the most (which explain my fondness of Alexander McQueen). The most fav part that I like is when he saw a girl wraping up her face with the tri-colored strap of plastic. It gives me strange feeling. A feeling of being inspired!

Didn't you feel inspired like me to do whatever you're doing?

anyway ni la video clip nye : sori sebab internet slow sangat sampai tak ble nak embed pon.

Video ni diadaptasi oleh greek myth between Orpheus and Euridice. Bagi sape2 yang dengar opera macam aku mesti pernah dengar lagu 'Che Faro Senza Euridice' or maknanya 'Live Without My Dear Euridice'. nak letak lirik kat sini tapi panjang sangat and takdenye orang nak bace. tapi lirik dye agak touching sebab dye kehilangan Euridice buat kali kedua tapi this time buat selama-lamanya.

From the Greek myth, Euridice ni bini Orpheus, and one day dye kena patuk ulor berbisa. Dye pon meninggal. Sape2 yang meninggal akan masuk 'underworld' yang dijaga oleh Hades. Hades, Zeus, and Poseidon ni 3 beradik. Each of them kena jaga(or memerintah) underworld, upperworld or air, and ocean. Hades ni plak agak berhati batu. Dye takkan senang2 nak lepaskan orang from underworld balik semula ke tempat asal. Macam kes Persephone yang cantik gile, Hades culik dye sebab dye da jatuh hati ngan anak sedara dye tu. Bila bapak pompuan tu (Zeus) hantar perutusan untuk mintak anak dye balik, Hades bagi je. Tapi dye pakai muslihat baeek punyer. Hades suruh Persephone makan pomegranate dulu before keluar. Sebab dye makan, dye da bound to the underworld and da x ble kuar lagi da hahaha.

Berbalik kepada citer Orpheus and Euridice, Euridice sekarang da berada di underworld. So Orpheus pergi ke underworld, jumpa Hades and nyayi lagu yang shahdu untuk memberitahu isi hati dye pasal Euridice. Memandangkan Orpheus seorang pemuzik yang sangat hebat sampai dapat menundukkan binatang liar, Hades pon rasa lembut hati and bagi Orpheus bawa balik Euridice (ade yang kate untuk 1 hari je).

Kalau korang tengok music video tu, time lirik

If you don’t come back tomorrow

I'll be left here in the cold

If you don’t come back tomorrow, I'll go

yang melakonkan watak Hades angguk kepala means 'ye ko bole amik dye skarang'.

But like I said, Hades takkan bagi orang keluar senang2 je. Dye bagi syarat, which is Orpheus tak boleh tengok Euridice yang ikut dye kat belakang. So Orpheus pon jalan jalan jalan, sampai dye keluar daripada underworld. Tapi dye terus turn belakang, in which masa tu Euridice tak sempat nak melangkah keluar daripada exit tu. So Hades sangat marah sebab Orpheus seolah-olah tak percaya pompuan tu ikut dye, and Hades pon ambik balik Euridice, selama-lamanya and Orpheus pon berputih mata je la.

From that music video, dye improvised sikit, dye buat pintu exit tu diperbuat daripada cermin. So although Orpheus tak pandang belakang, bila dye tertengok reflection dye kat pintu exit tu pon da dikira dye look back jugak la kan. So kalau ikut myth Orpheus yang bersalah, tapi dalam video ni macam nak cakap yang Hades ni super evil and saje buat pintu macam tu sebab dye memang tanak bagi pon.

kinda doubting maself 2

2011-05-19T00:02:00.000+08:00

It seems like I'm not going to study medicine. Ade je benda yang nak halang aku. aku xdenye nak stress2 tapi nak explain pasal betul ke aku kena paksa wat medic :D

Part 2 la ni kirenye sebab tadi da bebel panjang

At the age of 4, my dad and mom had already brought me to their workplaces. I had the opportunity to see the medical world and know diseases like AIDS and Typhoid fever earlier than anybody else. Medical field is hectic and ugly, but it is a challenge that once you've achieved it, you'll receive the highest level of self gratification. At the same time, I watched a LOT of fashion shows on tv. I started designing clothes since then.

I grow up doing fake surgeries on insects and sewing clothes for my doll (actually it's my cousin's). Bill Keith was my inspiration back then.

when I was 13, I told my mum that I want to be a fashion designer, and built an empire like Coco Chanel and Dior. But mom said that I should focus on something that can guarantee you a job. Since I'm from a middle-class family, I can't make mistake. So I am determined to become a doctor as being the youngest means that I am their only chance of having a doctor in the family.

At that time I also heard news about designers committing suicide because of stress. I just don't think that I can be a successful designer like Zang Toi, a Kelantanese who become top designer in New York. Masa tu aku pikir designers sangat 'sosial' with the after-party and all. So i just think that it's impossible.

But fashion is life. The more mature you are, the more you realise that fashion is just your daily life and you just can't avoid it. It was like a 'habit' to study about the biography of designers when I'm bored. And now I know models and their backgrounds more than I know tokoh2 yang aku patut belajar :D I learnt that models are not just cloth hangers, they are the one that make your design alive so I'm gonna choose 'my model' wisely. I hate history but I love the history of everything about fashion, whether it's the designer, the style, the fashion house, everything.

Although that I talk fashion more than other thing that I talk about in real life, I desire to be a doctor. I am willing to sacrifice fashion over medicine because of it. The obstacle that I have to face right now is like telling me that I'm not going to achieve it. Tapi aku belum lagi belajar MBBS. Kalau aku belajar MBBS and kena repeat 5x tak lepas2 then baru la aku tau that it's not meant to be la kan. But at the same time I remembered that Alexander McQueen and Zang Toi shared the same view about how they become successful- you must be able to know chances and take chances. So is this obstacle a chance to me?

kinda doubting maself

2011-05-18T22:14:00.001+08:00

sambil tunggu mamak hantar food yang diorder lebih kurang stengah jam tadi, dengan perut yang lapa tahap nak sawan, aku menggagahkan tangan aku untuk menaip. Tapi otak aku memang tengah gile la skarang, so mind my bahasa.

Lepas satu, satu. Mula-mula pasal kursus perubatan dibekukan, so orang mula risau kalau student BMS (bachelor of Medical Science) nak sambung MBBS tak ble. Tapi lepas tu dah lega sikit sebab ada yang cakap benda tu tak dibincangkan dalam parlimen pon, and ada yang cakap tu just dikuatkuasa untuk fakulti perubatan baru (kalau ada uni2 baru nak buat). So masalah 1 da boleh kate selesai la kot.

Then datang plak masalah nombor 2. which is kalau nak sambung MBBS kena start ngan 1st year balik instead of masuk 3rd year terus. So belajar course BMS yang sia2 (yang nak kerja from that degree pon susah) adela dalam 3tahun. MBBS pulak 5 tahun setengah. tu belum kira practical and housemanship after BMS and MBBS lagi. So ade la dalam 12 tahun baru bleh jadi doktor (kalau practical 6bulan and housemanship 3tahun). Kalau orang lain da ble sambung master degree 3 tahun, and da bole bukak klinik sendiri dah. Hancur la harapan aku untuk berbisnes @___@

Dan masa ni la aku dah mula nak doubting myself. Am I destined to be a doctor? Again.

Aku belum bagitau family lagi pasal nih. Dulu pon after A Level (sebab tak nampak jalan lain dah) mak aku da suruh aku either ambik diploma then sambung degree, ambik asasi (tapi spm da x valid), or jadi je cikgu. So kalau aku bagitau pasal situasi sekarang memang tak tau la dia nak suggest ape lagi da. Balik rumah banyak kali cakap, "tu la dulu suruh ambik asasi sains kat uitm tu tak nak!". Yeah that's my mum. Paksa orang suruh pilih ape yang dye nak, then pegi canang satu kampung pasal benda yang tak kompem, and if I failed then it's all, entirely my fault. Padahal asasi uitm tu awal2 lagi dye reject sebab asasi sains tu baru buat and tak tau boleh sambung medic ke tak.

My cousins and relatives pon satu hal. Sembah aku, mengagung-agungkan aku because of my academic. Yang si bapak suruh anak dye jadi macam aku, yang si anak pulak tengok aku macam 3D model and nampak aku macam perfect sangat. Hari tu aku balik Penang cousin aku sikit2 puji aku- style aku, percakapan aku, and kalau boleh nak jadi macam aku, masuk MSU hebat bla2.... Bila dye cakap impian dye nak jadi tv host aku pon suruh dye follow her heart and jangan jadi macam aku.

Mengikut kronologi hidup aku, aku hidup macam princess :D okay bukan tu yang aku nak cakap sbenaye hahaha. Ada sebab kenapa although da ada cousin yang da blaja medic kat Russia, relative aku still tengok aku as benchmark diorang. Masuk tadika masa umur 5 tahun da ganti cikgu mengajar sebab cikgu slalu ade hal. Darjah 1 dapat 100% in all 5 subjects everytime exam. Darjah 2 dapat nombor satu every exam, tapi ade skali dapat nombor 6 and mak aku marah gile2 sampai sehari aku tak makan. Darjah 3 selang seli nombor 1 or 2 sampaikan aku buat teori sendiri, aku tak study sangat exam ari tu sebab aku ingat turn aku dapat no.1, last2 dapat no.2 hahaha. Lepas tu lompat kelas. Darjah 5 biasa2 je. Darjah 6 dapat no.1 lagi. Form 1 dapat no.1 and 2. Form 2 just top 10 je. PMR 9A. At science school dapat no. 13 je slalu. SPM 10A. Dapat A Level UK la konon.

Then after A Level memang jatuh gile2 la. mase ni la baru aku tau istilah study nak mati, sebab dulu study pon cincai2 je. But since they don't know the real thing that really happened, (thanx to mum yang cover balik benda yang dye canang dulu2 dengan cakap berbelit-belit) diorang still ingat aku ni hebat macam hape ntah.

Result ari tu alhamdulillah la jugak, tapi mak aku macam bese nak 4flat la kot. It's hard to please such a perfectionist. Tapi at this moment aku nak blaja sebab nak kan ilmu untuk jadi doktor je, bukan untuk dean list or president list or whatever list. Sebab not good achievers are good doctors. Haha ayat ntah pape. Tapi sebab persaingan still kena score kot. entah la.

So nanti mesti pak sedara mak sedara aku pelik asal la aku lame sangat blaja tak graduate2 lagi hahaha :D

/___\

2011-05-18T02:34:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep U___U because don't know what to wear tomorrow.
I need inspiration man!! I guess inspiration comes with a happy mind? I am so 'serabut' so probably nothing will come out walaupun aku perah otak macam mana pon. And btw inspiration tak boleh dipaksa n___n

/____\ aku gile.

>____> nak shopim.

U___U but I'm broke.

$___$ hmmmm.......

Some greek mythology in my simple language

2011-05-16T23:08:00.001+08:00

Narcissus by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

Ni wallpaper laptop saya n___n

According to greek mythology Narcissus sangat2 bangga dengan ke-henseman dye, and bila Nemesis macam ajak dye pergi dekat pool, Narcissus terperasan seekor mamat yang sangat ensem kat kolam tu. Mamat ensem tu dye la hahaha. So dye pon macam berkata "humph! aku jugak yang ensem dalam dunia neh. Tak puas tengok reflection snirik." Dan dye pon sangat2 menyintai diri dye sendiri. Ada yang kate dye dok situ sampai mati, ade kate sebab dye sendiri rasa tak mampu nak menyintai diri dye yang teramat ensem so dye bunuh diri. Aku pon kompius.

and this one got from wiki pasal Echo tapi dye banyak citer pasal Narcissus

The most popular version of the Echo/Narcissus story depicts that when Narcissus realises he is in love with his own reflection, he becomes utterly distraught and realising no way to fulfill his love, he takes his hunting knife and stabs himself through the heart. As the blood drops fell to the ground they spawned the first growth of the Daffodil, also known as the Narcissus flower (or plant).

banyak2 cite tapi cite dye lebih kurang macam tu la.

Echo pulak seorang yang suka melalak dan bercerita kat bini Zeus, Hera. Bila Hera tau yang Echo sebenarnya buat macam tu sebab nak distract dye daripada tau laki dye pegi berfoya2 (rape?) other perempuan, dye pon ambik balik suara Echo. And Echo skarang just boleh ulang last few words je (name pon echo). So bila dye menyintai Narcissus, dye stalk mamat tu sampai dekat pool tu, tapi sebab dye takde suara dye tak ble bercakap la.

Tiba2 Echo terpijak ranting kayu, so Narcissus terkejut. Dye pon cakap "siapa tu?"

So Echo pon TERcakap "siapa tu?" jugak since dye just boleh ulang balik apa yang orang cakap je. Benda ulang2 ayat orang ni berlarutan sampai bila ntah. Dipendekkan cerita Narcissus reject dye kahkahkah (jahatnye aku).

For me cerita ni sangat2 menarik and bila tengok lukisan2 yang pelukis buat pasal diorang, aku macam paham and ada perasaan la sikit nak mentafsir daripada jadi dumbfounded macam dulu.

p/s- kalau korang prasan kan, dlm gamba tu Narcissus macam ade masalah keguguran rambut. and air kolam agak kotor. eww

such a psychic......

2011-05-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

I checked my drafts, and found this post.

Bravo.

Guys, males, or men, or which I usually referred as retarded monkeys, are the worst people a girl can make friend with. For centuries, this species was known as the REAL backstabber or two-faced douche, able of portraying charms but in the end would stings like a fuckin bee. They are really good at twisting stories, for them to instill some dramas and action-packed storyline, in order to make the audiences (girls) went crazy all over it. They are sometimes on our side, but later would go on the opponent's side as they appear as innocent and just-making-friends-with-everybody kind of bullshit.

What makes this so interesting is that I wrote this the day before the real thing happened. It was meant to mock men in general but I did not continue writing it because it's too.....misandry.

Apparently the statement is somewhat true.

I just laugh at you

2011-05-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the 2nd day of me crying. But when I told everything to God about what I felt and pledged that I would never ever get any closer to a guy even as a friend, my life had started to be organised and I'm back on track again. I think probably God wants me to learn something from that incident. Like guys are never a good company, and I should not give my whole trust to him in whatever things we're doing because guys can never be trusted. After removing him from Facebook and deleting his phone number, I just forgot everything that happened. He were never my friend as good friend never play with friend's dignity and use it as a joke. I was nothing but a dog to him and I would make sure that a 'dog' like me would bark and bite him, and treat him worst than any fucking human beings alive.

My mom called me yesterday but I missed it as I was in the shower. I didn't call her back because I was so damn unhappy with what happened the day before and I just don't want to accidentally talk about it because I know that I would probably burst into tears again. The problem is all mine, means that not even my parents or even my eldest brother (who happened to live in shah alam as well) should know about it. At that same day my roommate was having a problem with her classmate talking bad behind her back, and her sisters just came straightaway to meet that girl. When I was in high school I cried when my mum's colleague said something that irritates me, and my mum bergaduh sebab nak protect saye yang manje neh :D thanx mom. As I grow older, I just don't want to drag anybody into my problems. If my brother tau memang mampus la ko kena belasah.

He never showed any effort of making an apology, and yet still feeling contented in his life as if those things are like instant noodles, very hot but would later cool on itself after left for a while. I am so sorry for you because you never realize that you are the worthless, insensitive sonovabitch ever existed in this universe.

I have 3 words for you. But I don't know which one to give you.
GO DIE BITCH
ROT IN HELL

You choose.

peng-anjingan

2011-05-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

I was never this 'heartbroken' since that A Level aftermath. Hours of crying, yet the cry is louder from time to time. At this moment I want to lay down and stare at the sky, just like what I did when I was extremely frustrated at my team members who quit a few weeks before the real Silat Seni competition (4years ago) . Yes, that's what I did when I was TOTALLY heartbroken. And here I mean this is the third time in my lifetime that I've ever felt of going to the rooftop so that I can talk to the sky.

I am not practicing some sort of paganism (talking to the sky, wind, clouds, yada yada) but for me the sky is so vast that if even millions of people try to write the every thoughts of their selves in the sky, there would be more than enough space to do so and you would not have to worry about reaching the limit. The sky is the most serene place ever existed. And the white fluffy clouds have always reminded me of my cats which I love the most (and sworn to never touch any cats anymore). I felt like all of my 10 white cats were watching me from above whenever I share my sad stories to them.

I know it's crazy but just now when I said to the sky, "If you're my cats. please respond." and all of the sudden there was a gush of wind, so heavy that my body was almost being blown away.

Enough with tahyul. Time for the bitter truth.

So in the class, I mean in the class of a row of judges which are my faculty lecturers, senior students who I don't know why they were there, the other 9 groups of people which consist of 5 contestants each, and my house mate with her classmate who I invited to help me dealing with the already-known-embarrassing moment of my life, I was humiliated and my dignity was crushed to dust.

This 'faggot' didn't allow us to watch the video before we submit it to the judges and after seeing the other group doing this project so seriously, he was so worried and said that he should've not did that in the first place.

Aku sebenarnya dah bengang bila dia cakap dalam video tu just ade 1 point je, padahal miss da tunjuk banyak contoh kot.

Long story short, it was a video of me, a penguin, me, a dog, me, me, me, then my friend and the end. me like a penguin. me like a dog. me like a fuckin dog. me like a fuckin binatang haram. It was 92% piece of shit rather than the project of "do's and don't for an interview". Weh kalau bapak aku, nampak je binatang haram lam tv terus tukar channel!!!

THE BEST PART IS... yang kena berdiri kat depan masa video tu tengah play is me and my friend. That faggot yang pengecut tu takde nak berdiri dgn kitorang. why? so that people would put the blame on us? so that people would said that it was the 2 of us yang bwat video tu padahal mase nak bincang ko suma nak wat sendiri? orang lain mesti ingat ni keje team and mesti kitorang da penah tengok video tu. ko ingat ade ke pompuan sundal yang BODOH BANGANG pegi bagi orang kutuk pasal dye and memperbodohkan diri sendiri semata-mata nak suruh orang gelak kat 'lawak' macam tu?

habis je aku terus keluar, menyorok lam toilet, silent phone although kawan2 da ketuk2 pintu banyak kali, then balik rumah dlm hujan. terbaeeek.

report and remove

2011-05-11T05:28:00.000+08:00

tadi ter'jumpa' notes lam facebook pasal cinta (yawn)

then aku ble plak tercari-cari button 'report as inappropriate', nanti kalau dye tanye notes neh cakap pasal ape aku cakap la dye 'promotes racism' ke, 'inappropriate contents to public' ke hahaha (ala diorang xdenye nak pegi translate and nak paham benda tu btol2, sebab aku da banyak kali wat lam Youtube) bia facebook remove je notes neh bwahahahahah (evil-giler laugh)

sebenarnya benda tu xde pape pon.. just bagi tips macamana nak kekalkan that relationship la kot. but then the comments yang 'obviously org couple' je yang gedik nak menulis kat situ yang buat aku rasa nak muntah la jugak hahaha :D benda2 xde pekdah neh patot kite bako! kite bako! (okey lawak kak limah yg SANGAT cliche dan aku da bosan dengar tapi bwat gak hahaha)

okay I know that you would probably assume that I am jealous and I am totally single. Hence you would give to me this shitty statement, 'bile da kena baru ko tau rasanye caner bla bla'. aku tak jeles pon and in fact aku syukur kot diberi akal untuk tak wat maksiat macam ko. sori aku memang tulis merapu gile tapi aku memang agak bengang. aku bengang bila aku berusaha sedaya upaya menjaga diri aku dengan pendirian anti kapel but at the same time menjaga hati orang lain dengan cara berdiam diri TAPI orang lain tu plak senang2 bermesra-mesraaan depan aku dan bagi statement seolah-olah kapel tu the only way you can feel content in your fucking already-miserable life.

haha aku ter emosi :D sebenarnye benda neh takde la berlaku among kawan2 rapat aku since diorang pon x kapel.. just something yang agak lama aku simpan xtau nak tulis kat mane... TERbaca plak notes tu lagi la trigger aku untuk menyumpah seranah segala makhluk.

annoyed

2011-05-03T21:40:00.001+08:00

I was so freakin mad at you but I managed to cover them up by saying that those are my fault too or I just certainly did the 'silent treatment' until I was wise enough to act like normal. or when you start talking to me.

YOU was so terribly mad at me by simply raising your voice like I'm no human and ignoring me when I start the conversation with all the effort of making those talks to be interesting. You also dragged the other person into this conflict while you are actually dealing with me alone.

I am a cold-hearted person. I don't care and I won't care if you are THIS mad at me since the things that we've both did to each other and ourselves were equal.

Alice in The Vavavoom Land (Looklet)

2011-04-27T04:20:00.000+08:00

This new model on Looklet had inspired me to do "Alice in The Wonderland"-inspired style

TOP BY ALTEWAI.SAOME

TOP BY DIESEL

CORSET BY SHOCK

BRIEFCASE BY FANNY OLLAS

SKIRT BY BEYOND RETRO

PANTS BY MASKERADAFFÄREN

TIGHTS BY H&m

CAGE BY NK

HEELS BY NITELIFE

GLOVES BY IMONI

HAT BY CA4LA

EARRING BY VINTAGE

I was thinking of using a bright colored skirt instead of pants but then I realized that I might be creating a very cliché look. went looking for bright yellow or electric blue harem pants but only this one is available. And a sharper cut harem will do it better I think. These also made me feel like a 'circus' theme instead of a sexy and fierce Alice in The Vavavoom Land. The hat and the tights are pretty much fit into the Mad Hatter character though.

update

2011-04-17T02:25:00.001+08:00

ye saye sudah lame tak update. since my birthday on april 14th ari tu, saye rase mcm tua sangat.

I'm 20 years old now, so I think my mom had started to give me freedom a bit. only a tiny little "ok you are allowed to do it now" freedom but at least adela drpd takde langsung :p
Dan saye rase saya berhak untuk bagitau my mom that I'm TWENTY now whenever she started worrying about me from doing mistakes that I think would worth as experience.

my abah selalu cakap yang semakin kita tua, semakin pendek masa untuk kita buat amal kebaikan. semakin cepat kita menghampiri kematian. biasa kalau birthday aku je, aku baca surah Yasin, sebab masa tu rasa macam satu nyawa aku dah hilang. tapi for this year, aku tak buat pon. entah.

back tu the 'tua' part, saye rasa macam tak layak nak tulis ape2 dalam blog kanak2 saye neh (bwahahahahah)...

masa ni saye rase saye kena lagi matang la kot... takde nak terus tulis pasal benda2 yang saya tak puas hati...lagipon, everytime saya tulis mesti ade yang terasa. walaupun saye tulis da memang habis general... sampaikan orang cakap blog saya pedas (sedap tu!)... macam nak cakap "kalau berani/ tak takut kena batang hidung sendiri bacalah blog budak neh". (nak lagi pedas visit here) saya suka mengkaji manusia. sebab tu la cita-cita saya nak jadi psychiatrist. dan daripada kajian amateur saya, kebanyakan manusia ada habit yang lebih kurang sama, and maybe sebab tu la psychologist boleh mengklasified orang dalam beberapa kelas. dan bila kita bercakap tentang general, maka banyakla orang yang terasa. tapi saya memang jenis yang laser dan takde perasaan :) so saya memang tak rase bersalah pon...

bebel. merapu. gile.

anyway nak tau peristiwa menarik masa hari jadi saya? (wah skema)
http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/april14th.html

titanic strikes iceberg, US black Sunday, presiden Lincoln kena tembak, and yang paling menarik : 2005 U.S.A. Gay Couples Marriage Licenses Oregon

hahaha

summary of my (very) short semester break

2011-03-30T13:02:00.003+08:00

I only have a week holidays. My to do list?
1) Learn more recipes
2) Design more clothes/ learn how to operate that sewing machine without my parents knowledge :p
3) Play warcraft and gain some skills with the help of my 3rd brother Acik.

What really happened that week:

1) Nobody's at home = who's gonna teach me?
   First day mom already bought the lauk. Second day have to cook for myself only. Third day until Thursday Acik balik from kampung (Penang) and he did the cooking. Pandai gak dye masak. Suma chores dye buat (jemur kain, kemas rumah, masak, clean up pinggan mangkuk after tetamu datang) and aku goyang kaki je (tapi hidang air and food kerja aku). Sempat lagi dye smayang Dhuha, mengaji, maen dota and online dalam kesibukan kerja rumah tangga haha :D Yang aku paling suke dye x komplen or bebel macam kakak aku U___U tapi kalo dye suruh aku buat je. Last day (which is Friday) my mum finally masak sebab dye cuti weekend (Kelantan cuti Jumaat Sabtu ye). So sudah belajar how to do gulai udang! yay n__n

2) Meh.
   Got no time designing but manage to do a few rough sketches. Have to sleep early to wake up early but sumber inspirasi hanya datang/aktif time tengah malam. So got no inspirations and I lost my drawing mojo so construction time was longer than I used to. Malas.

3) Won 3 battles
   To be honest, girl is the best planner but worst at making strategies. Girl can't multi-task like lawan more than 1 enemy at the same time. Girl thinks too much like sape punye heroes ade magic lagi power, Dark Fairy can only entangled gold mines once at a time not like the Undead or Human, blah blah... Girl is the worst player ever.

and now the semester break had ended.

sorry that I stalk you Part2- update please!

2011-03-30T00:07:00.001+08:00

Dear the guy that I stalked,

Knowing that I will never see you again, I realize that I am slightly disorganized right now. Although we both wanted to achieve the same dream, you have moved on to another level, while I'm still stuck in here studying :-/

Again, I feel silly to stalk you before because it had trapped me into doing this more than just fooling around. I am the kind of people who would easily fall in love with a person's writing, as I believe that all those things that you wrote came straight from your heart and that is how I know which type of person you are in real life.

I don't know what might happen to me when you are not around. I afraid that I might not be able to survive in here, being a better person. Life in here is very tough (I'm saying about the social life), my friend is relying on me to take care of her, she also wanted me to have full responsibility to take care of my other friend, and I have to take care of myself too.

So please, update. I am so delighted after reading your latest post after a week of no updates. I once promised that I will stop, but it turned out that I had become the creepiest stalker ever. Sorry.

Yours truly,

Casiol

I'm studying!!! :D

2011-03-25T00:46:00.001+08:00

pure racist statements

2011-03-14T01:13:00.047+08:00

There's so much drama going on here.

Casiol

Ok if we were in America's Next Top Model now, I think that I would be 'the bitch' and people were hoping that I will be eliminated sooner. I would probably have fans and haters at the same time. But I will be a bitch who deserve to act like a bitch since I somehow know what I'm doing. It's just me being a bitch for setting things straight but my reputation during this competition was very impressive too :p

Aminat (or Bubblyboo)

Alasia

Pupu

While they, being a bitch, deserve to be named like that because they act like one. They are the drama queens, double-faced slut, and as simple as it sounds- a purely racist bitch.

Their performance during competitions are worst, but Tyra was keeping them in order to make the show to be more interesting with more dramas and emotions played to our viewers.

Episode 3- Who's (line?) pantyliner is it anyway?

Mckey: Today they were making a group of THEIR own people again. *sigh*

They started talking in their own language that we don't understand. Then they suddenly asked us:

Bubblyboo: Did any of you accidentally left a used pantyliner in my basin?

Me: Nope. But Frenda put someone's clothes from the washing machine into that basin.
Frenda: Yeah. Must've been from that clothes.

Me: Someone must've accidentally mixed it with the clothes and washed it?

Pupu: Those are mine, but not the pantyliner. I didn't use........
No. Not mine. No. No.

I smell a LIAR...who has been caught red handed. Obviously the last thing that was inside the basin is your clothes, dumbass! Plus, the clothes were all panties and shorts.

Bubblyboo: No it's not hers because we (THEIR race) didn't wear pantyliner.
The (OUR race) wear it so it must be from any of you guys.

Gua pon panas beb. Tapi sabau je la. Aku tak pegi tengok pon mase dye suruh tengok sebab bukan salah aku. Then my friend tried to explain to her:

Frenda: Look. My roomate didn't wear it. I'm on period
so I did not use pantyliner since a few days ago...

Bubblyboo: I don't care. I know it's for other thing other than period. Bla bla..

Details details details!! but obviously she didn't understand what Frenda was saying. Learn to listen before you talk bitch!

Alasia admitted right in front of them that she did wear pantyliner.

Me: Hey yo! So she's (OUR race)!!!

I didn't wear 'em so I'm (THEIR race)??

but instead I stayed silent. Racist bitches are everywhere. Said myself.

at that time, what I heard was Yada Yada in their language and then:

Bubblyboo: We are (THEIR race)..

Other Bitches: Yeah! Yeah!

Bubblyboo: I believe you guys more.

Other Bitches: Yeah! Yeah!

so I was like "this is fucking racist". Labeling us based on pantyliner? Right. we labeled you based on unwashed dishes in the sink U__U

Stay tuned for the next episode...WHO will be eliminated?

pictures by shinsaibashi

dark romance

2011-03-13T11:32:00.002+08:00

just now, since I left my phone outside, my housemate said that she loves my alarm song because it's creepy at first but later sounds cool. so I corrected the term to be : dark romance
after all, it is Our Time by Amanda Jenssen, which was the music played during Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring Summer 2011 fashion show (and yes, I've already watched the Fall Winter 2011/2012, tp bukan Dior).

a few days ago I tried to make the chocolate covered strawberry, and to be honest it was the 3rd time I failed :(

bukan aku punye for sure

I watched like 10 youtube videos about the melting chocolate skill thingy, but believe me it is not as easy as it seems. The first one was because I overcooked the chocolate, second one was quite successful but later the chocolate in the bowl got harden because of my wrong technique in using the double boiler method. I almost got the consistency and the texture there (during my 3rd attempt because I watched the videos) but later after that the chocolate started to become harden in the bowl again. I can only dip like 2 or 3 strawberries at that time.

there's always someone who loves you :)

2011-03-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

saye stalk orang...lagi

2011-03-08T23:08:00.001+08:00

saye stalk orang neh... da banyak kali saye nampak n terserempak ngan dye tapi xtau name ape... sbenanye x sengaja terjumpa FB dye. saye lompat dari orang ke orang dari gamba ke gamba and then TERjumpa dye. hebatnye daya stalk saye (saye perasan jap ek)... bole la saye join CSI ke, private detective ke hahaha (saye berangan jap ek) U__U
dan terima kasih sebab dye dan kawan2 dye tak privatekan gamba or info dlm FB.. laen kali buat la lagi hahahahah :D

terima kasih Mark sebab buat facebook untuk stalker macam saye :)

finally

2011-03-08T01:35:00.000+08:00

Finally I made something that I consider as an 'art' this week (why I put apostrophe there is because I don't think artistic people would think so). The last time was a year ago, so imagine how happy I am to be able to produce something after a while. I'm not saying that I'm stress, but it did make me feel happier than before :D

I don't know why I have a 'thing' with miniature, because my fingers are very (I mean VERY) comfortable making things that are smaller than my palm. I started inventing thing since I was 5 until primary school, making a refrigerator out of a juice box, made a complete set of playground equipments by using ruler, pencils, paper, cloth and plastics, and other miniature things that are meant to give me self satisfaction.

Sadly I didn't keep them all, because my mom thought that they were all just a piece of junk, although she did admit that they were so realistic. For her I should spend my time dreaming about becoming a doctor, not an artist.

So as usual, things happen accidentally, I made this smallest paper miniature ever (and the smallest my fingers can handle so far).

I just crinkled some small pieces of paper....and with a touch of miracle :)

a dash of imagination.......

a pinch of interest......

and a cup of believe in yourself!!

you can see my other miniatures -the smallest dress and the smallest fries here

anyway I also made some flowers from colour papers :)

actually I want to do more than these but my fingers and nails were all hurt due to tearing the papers.

Most of the people didn't believe that I learnt this by myself. They thought that I must have been learning it from older people. My question is, where did all these older people learn how to do it in the first place? Didn't they just accidentally discover it just like what I did? So the story is, I was in standard 3, and most of the schoolworks wanted you to cut a picture, and paste it on your exercise book (let say English) right? And there were some left out piece of papers that I didn't need but as usual, I will think about the possible thing that I can make out of it. So I rolled a paper, took out a petal-shaped paper, and attached them together. From there, I got an idea of making a rose out of it. At that time I already knew that the basic of rose-making is a rolled petal in the middle and a layer of petals on the outside (since I had the plant at home and had already made them using cloth and plastics before).

So I sold them, 10cent each to my friends. A year before that, I did sell the tali2 simpul2 (aku rase suma org penah buat dan jual kan?) so I think I kinda enjoy doing business too. Then when I was in form 2, I did the paper rose again but at that time I just gave them to my friends. ye la da form 2 sape nak beli... kalu tyme skola rendah suma bodo2 lagi xpela hahaha :D

Happy Art-ing guys!!! U___U

nada gedik

2011-03-07T23:16:00.002+08:00

I daa ade internet tau :D

thanx abah sebab tlg selesaikn kt maxis centre..nanti bole la adik guna untuk ~~tengok ANTM Cycle 16~~ study :P

Antm cycle 16!!!

2011-03-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

sorry lambat update sket... tenet xde so ak bru je try cc kat brunsfield.
first thing yg ak nk wat kt sini is of course la tgk antm cycle 16 since dye da ckp yg cycle baru starts on 22nd feb :D
xble nak describe ape2 lagi sbb ak nk jimat dwet so ak xle nk research lame2 kat sini.. hopefully someone yg dying nak tgk antm and other fashion/model-related reality show pon akan excited mcm ak skrg :D

why so prejudice?

2011-02-28T01:21:00.000+08:00

my roomate was asking me about the meaning of prejudice. after minutes of blah blah and blah i finally found out that she just wanted the Malay word for prejudice :D oh yeah i get it...Malay people with very thick british accent.. must not have polish her Malay I think.

I remembered once that people are prejudice towards kelantanese. there are like "oh kelantanese are the dirtiest people on earth", "kelantanese are going to die soon due to diabetes", "sorok gula berlaku di kelantan sebab diorang melantak gula banyak", "kampong and buta IT", "x pandai english", "suma gatal muda2 lagi da kawen", dan bla bla bla :D

i admit that being a Kelantanese is unique, because most of us have a strong faith in Islam, appreciate the malay custom and culture more than everybody else, and are proud of being kelantanese because we are everywhere- wherever you go you'll find people speaking in kelantan accent (actually it's 'dialect' but most people thought that it's an accent so bleh). What's more interesting is that kelantanese people can start a conversation with other kelantanese people even though they don't know each other. it's like when you are stranded overseas and when you found a malay guy in that area, you will feel excited and started to talk to him n___n. Anyway my point is that kelantanese people have integrity, most of us (even with different race and religion) speak in one language- the kelantanese.

I think the bad thing of kelantan is that most men in here are divided into 2 categories, either religious or a drug addict. (anyway i'm talking about my area that I'm living right now). The only way you could survive in this dark and eerie world of drugs, HIVs, TBs due to AIDS, and accidental pregnancies is that you stay at home 24/7. That is why i'm tied with the rules of 'anak dara' in here.

again, i don't know how to end this properly :D so just want to say that I'm proud of being a kelantanese :)

Question?

2011-02-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

10minit lagi kedai print kat bawah akan tutup. Dan pada masa tu la aku rasa cuak semacam je. Tak pernah cuak camni. Assignment nak kena hantar esok. Kalau assignment aku sorang hantar lambat pon aku x kesah, tapi kalau buat dlm group tu yang buat aku terpaksa komited dalam stadi neh hahaha :D Anyway lagu It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Death Wish by My Chemical Romance dok ligat bermain-main dalam kepala otak yang tengah pikir nak pakai baju apa esok. Hati berdebar-debar. Sempat ke nak tunggu lif semput neh? ooo sempat rupanya. Sempat ke nak jalan ke kedai 2? oo sempat rupanya. Lepas print aku still nyayi lagu tu hahaha. MCR lagi. makan MCR tido MCR tengah cuak pon MCR? bawak2 la mengucap Miss Casiol Rmy....

panjang mukaddimah dye kan?

petang tadi i was sort of asking to God about all the things that He gave to me. Tau yang aku tak layak untuk mempersoalkan apa2. Lately aku macam dapat je apa yang aku nak...bukan nak riak ke ape since for all this while yang aku mintak hanyalah dipermudahkan untuk itu dan ini. And it seems that God has heard my voice and granted my wishes.

Aku cuma nak tahu either:
1) Allah sekarang memberi apa sahaja yang aku minta sebab aku dah pon lepas dugaan yang terhebat dalam hidup aku (after A-Level). dulu pon akak usrah ada cakap kalau kita lepas ujian tu dengan perasaan redha Allah akan bagi semua benda lepas tu sebab Allah sayang kita.
2) as another ujian untuk aku (nak tengok aku bersyukur ke x dan gunakan rezeki tu untuk apa)
3) sebab Allah tak nak pandang aku lagi dah sebab aku dah buat dosa banyak sangat and Allah just bagi je dengan perasaan marah/murka

sebab kalau jawapan 1st, aku rasa mcm malu sangat dengan Tuhan sebab ibadat yang dilakukan tidak la seberapa dan tidak la sehebat orang lain. kalau 2nd, at least aku jadi lebih berhati2. dan kalau 3rd, memang mintak dijauhkan.

urgh

2011-02-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

Worst day ever.
Friends still doesn't know what I hate the most. What I disgust.
I just want to be normal.
Normal as in invisible in real life, being able to do whatever I want. Going far and never regret it. And not to be the center of attention. Even the slightest attention would make me feel uncomfortable, dizzy and sweaty, rigid.
They said that "thou shalt not think otherwise! shalt not respond!" But when the situation came, the tables just turned. It was them who keep feeding the worms, and wait for my reaction. It was a silence but so full of hatred from the inside.

I cry for it stopping me from being myself.

Magic word

2011-02-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

Sangat bad mood (tadi je sbenanye...da melantak mcm beruang xdenye nak bad mood hahaha)
he told us about what he had done. it breaks my heart because I once vowed to myself that I don't want to be involved in this kind of problem. I once promised to myself that I will try to avoid myself from getting too close to this kind of person. Ingat lagi tak 3tahap dalam mencegah kemungkaran. Dan mencegah dengan hati adalah selemah-lemah iman? but at least I do something than nothing.

Ingat lagi tak wala takrobuzzina? Jangan mendekati zina? Jangan MENDEKATI bukan melakukan zina? You are so close my dear friend. Ingat tak orang ketiga yang berada dengan anda apabila anda berdua-duaan adalah syaitan? apa lagi bila memang NIAT that girl untuk ke arah tu?

You're supposed to have the gut to say no. You have the right to just slam that freakin door and yell "get the hell outta here!"...or at least say it politely like "I'm sorry miss but I find you to be very cheap. I mean VERY."

Aku percaya kalau ko jaga sembahyang dan jadikan baca Al-Quran sebagai amalan (bukan aktiviti di hari Jumaat sahaja), Tuhan akan tolong ko. Macam kisah Rasulullah yang tertidur masa pergi tengok konsert (sbenanye ak lupe...tapi mcm benda hiburan gak ah). Memanglah Rasulullah tu maksum so Allah jaga baginda tapi aku memang percaya Allah akan tolong kita jugak.... macam kalo ko nak on da way pegi clubbing tiba2 tayar kete kena curi :D... lebey kurang ah ahhahah

at that moment I feel scared of the future. I don't know if I can bear it any longer. I'm afraid that I will behave badly one day. I'm afraid that I will do worst than that. I'm afraid that my friend will do worst than that. I'm afraid that no one will guide me one day. As for now, the only magic word that I've been using since form 1 is 'jati diri'. Jati Diri is a simple word, but very powerful for me. When I feel like I want to be like them and do the things that obviously would cross the barrier of religion and my culture, I just blurted that word. I know that only those who have 'jati diri' or strong personality would never sacrifice what they believe for the sake of temporary joy.

And I believe that you can do that too. But if you repeat the same mistake than I don't have any other choice. I have to mencegah dengan hati. I have to avoid you.

saye xde tenet :-/

2011-02-13T19:42:00.000+08:00

buat masa neh saya rasa better la saya duduk rumah stadi dan berusaha menyihatkan badan :D
saya da xde tenet skarang so saya memang malas nak tulis blog. The real problem regarding my maxis broadband is that they didnt send the bills via post or email to me. So how can I (actually my dad) pay my monthly bills if you didnt do your job Mr. Maxis?

to do list- diet. jumpa pakcik maxis. bli barang dapo. exercise

best runway show of the season :D

2011-02-05T02:43:00.004+08:00

designed by John Galliano
(if u go to his website there's this menswear fashion show as its background page- he made menswear to finally become ALIVE)

There is no room for love
Wondering what we're made of

Silence is all I've got

There is no room for us

Needles or thread

Love me instead

Dance to a cry for help

Soon will not be enough

What's gonna keep me up?

When will you ask me to stop?

Soon will not be enough

Needles or thread

Love me instead

Dance to a cry for help

Widow bird, lead the wind

Take out cries, make it sing

Broken clocks, still here you ring

Our time

Music: Our Time-Amanda Jenssen
Models:
(part1)

Karlie Kloss
Karolina Kurkova
Angela Lindvall
Karmen Pedaru
Olga Sherer
Monika Jagaciak
Maryna Linchuk
Melissa Tammerijn
Alina Baikova
Nimue Smit
Lindsey Wixson
Laura Blokhina
Agnete Hegelund
Liu Wen
Kim Noorda
Iekeliene Stange
Lee Hye Jung
Ginta Lapina
Julia Saner
Daphne Groeneveld
Keke Lindgard
Juju Ivanyuk
Martha Streck
Joan Smalls
Caroline Brasch Nielsen
Frida Gustavsson
Maria Kashleva
Carolin Loosen
(part 2)
Yulia Kharlaponova
Magdalena Frackowiak
Sigrid Agren
Georgina Stojiljkovic

-those in colored are my fav models-

Cute Guys Alert

2011-02-02T11:19:00.001+08:00

Cute Guys Alert: The Best Male Model Lip-Sync Video Ever Made

The Dandy Warhols's "Bohemian Like You"

I need my PA

2011-01-31T16:37:00.000+08:00

kelas bio-ethics tadi sir kesayangan aku bincang pasal cara nak reduce stress- how to be organised. so bila time aku yang kena jawab aku cakap la 'have personal assistant'. Mesti ade yang pikir aku neh tengah bwat lawak ke ape? then ade bunyi fuyooo sikit2, tak termasuk ade gak yang buat pandangan berkaca-kaca sambil tersenyum kat aku. (tak tau la ni senyum baek ke jahat) macam kononnya ak neh kaye sangat2 and ade personal assistant betol2. kepale hotak ko.

awak ade masak nasik tak? nak sikit........

aku tau la kat MSU neh ade je student yang memang ade PA. dan aku pon sbenanye ada PA (tak bertauliah) gak hehe...

saya nak tosai 12 keping, milo ais kaw2 80 gelas....... baki lagi 5sen jangan lupa bagi balik tau!

nama dye Farhanah, nama lebey kurang nama aku je kan? kitorang sbenaye satu skolah masa kat SESTER dulu, cuma tak de masa nak mengenali je. So ditakdirkan aku datang sini satu kelas ngan dye (and se-roomate).

Minggu neh plak dye da balik kampung. Mentang2 la MSU tak de cuti CNY ko nak bwat cuti snirik la yek. So hari neh since PA aku da cabot awal2 maka alkisahnya aku satu apa pon tak jadi. assignment tak buat, lab report, assignment yang nak kena hantar pon ak tak hantar (walaupun due date hari neh). ponteng kelas pagi plak tu.

Masa dye tak de neh baru la aku sedar betapa pentingnya PA aku. rasa cam nak naek gaji plak after dye balik holiday neh heheehe :D

biasa dye la yang push aku time aku malas nak pegi kelas pagi... kadang2 tu dye selalu tanya aku macam2- assignment hantar bila la, tajuk ape la, bla bla bla sampai aku pon da TERPAKSA ambik tahu pasal benda2 neh suma. kadang2 dye gelabah semacam kalau assignment tak siap yang nak kena hantar esok padahal aku yang maen game sampai pkul 3pagi x rasa pape pon... ala copy paste je 5 minit da siap (cewah).

So sekarang neh bila PA aku takde aku pon da blurr smacam je masa on da way pegi MSU. tiba2 alarm subconscious aku berbunyi tanda 'hot guys alert'. cuci mata sekejap. wash away perasaan gloomy tadi. masuk kelas.

homesick kah saya?

2011-01-31T13:01:00.000+08:00

tak saba nak balik. sbenanya ak bukan nye homesick sangat pon. sebab kalo dok sini xde orang nak tengok ak bwat ape... xde org nak kate 'anak dara xleh bwat itu ini', 'anak dara x manis kuar pagi balik petang', 'anak dara kena jaga makan', 'anak dara xleh cakap ngan laki', 'anak dara itu' dan 'anak dara ini'.. bukan ak nak jadi so-sial kat sini pon tapi at least aku boleh berdikari kuah kari. heh :D

ak nak balik sangat2 sebab ak malas nak layan orang kat sini. entah kenapa ak malas sangat2. ak rasa mood tanak cakap ngan orang da datang balik. biasa kalau ak balik rumah pon ak bukan cakap ngan sape2 pon. tapi since kakak ak balik jugak and abang ak yang no.3 (acik) pon ade gak, ak rasa ak nak balik sebab ade banyak cite2 hot ak nak cite. kot.

minggu ni pon ak sangat malas nak masak. dulu otak ligat berfikir resepi2 nak makan ape untuk hari tu. sampaikan ak yang bese makan nasik skali sehari ni pon da bantai makan nasik 2 kali sehari. sebab ak suka masak. lepas tu mula la berkembang badan ak. ada satu jeans yang da 3 tahun x pakai, mak ak suruh pakai kat sini (dlm rumah je la). memangla jeans tu agak skinny tapi dulu cam baggy je. skarang ni hambek ko...skinny! first time ak pakai jeans ketat hahaha :D sbenarnya ak baru je nak puji kaki ak nampak cam kecik sikit sebab banyak berjalan kat MSU. tapi kalau da macam ni nampak nye tiadalah pujian buatmu wahai kaki.

psychological classification of LOVE

2011-01-31T01:24:00.000+08:00

the assignment that I hate to do the most.

so today I was online, and as usual Kyle chatted with me via FB. and as usual when it happened there must be something else that I have to do that he has to leave me. I haven't talk to Kyle for a while (actually it's since that freakin mid sem exam) so this time, I would feel very bad if I turned him down.

Since we've always having our 'nerd talk' and since he's taking anthropology (meaning that he has to learn almost every subjects- note on psychology), I think it's better for me to ~~take advantage~~ ask for his help regarding this assignment about love.

kinda getting out of topic actually.

sbenaye kitorang xdela ckp psl benda x berilmiah mcm neh haha

but thanx for making it clearer n__n because psychological means that I can write whatever I want in it :D yipeee

sorry that I stalk you

2011-01-30T17:43:00.007+08:00

Dear the guy that I stalked,

I'm just a simple girl who is very arrogant when talking about love, because for me 'other' type of love can only be achieved if you succeed in loving your God and parents with all your heart. Problem here is that they find it not enough for them although I've tried so hard to make them happy. So love never exists in my life.

It all started when I accidentally found your blog last week. I find your writings very captivating. I like your point of view of finding love only after you had achieved your goals. And if it comes to you at this present, you just refuse even if it's from a person that you like because this present is the journey of you to achieve your dreams. Then I remembered that we did met once or twice last month. Of course my first impression of you is that you are quite 'beriman', based on your clothing. Other than that, I thought that you were either taken ~~or gay~~ since you didn't look at other girls during the meeting. At that moment, you are just a normal guy that I don't have interest to ~~stalk~~ look at.

So I got this urge to communicate with you, by being an anonymous on Formsprings. I asked you a lot of 'soalan bongok' like the pokok sena questions or the pak mat kampung sbelah questions. I try to control myself from asking you questions that relates to your life because at this moment I just want to communicate, not to really know you. And not to meddle in your life. I afraid that if I ask you about personal questions it will lead me to zina hati.

Dear the guy that I stalked,

A lot of fans rained you with LOVE questions, but I know that you would probably feel unease since it's not the perfect time for you to think about love and marriage yet. Or probably you did have that special someone in your life already. I am very sorry that I stalk you. But I can't stop wishing that I would find someone like you, someone as religious and humble like you in the next 6 years.

I realised that your 'type' is an ustazah, as you had mentioned about it a few times. I know that I'm far from being one of them. If it's the clothing that you like, then I admit that I would not be like them. I was born with passion for fashion, not saying that being like them is old-fashion but you should remember that being stylish doesn't mean that you have to leave your religion and culture behind.(But still, I'm not that stylish either). I don't wear baggy, neither body hugging clothes. I will change to be better someday, but bear in mind it's not because of you. I don't want to do things because of a guy, but for myself.

I'm writing you this letter because this is the last day that I stalk you. I have goals to achieve, so I don't want to get distracted, especially from a guy. Just so let you know that you are that type of guy that I wish I could meet in the future, after I graduated...after I am ready to be someone's wife. As for now, allow me to put you in my memories.

Thank You.

Yours truly,
Casiol

drafting

2011-01-30T01:49:00.003+08:00

I realised that there are over 5 drafts in my blog which are half-way done. It was like I wrote about a topic that I like, and then when I feel super bored, I just leave it and start writing about other thing else. I don't know why but lately I got distracted from blogging. My housemates are all noobs since they didn't know what a pair of earphones or headphones are used for. So they play their kind of songs and talk to each other or via phone VERY LOUD. What really irritates my ears is because it was in other language that I won’t understand. Not to be racist but they treated this house as if it belongs to them and ONLY them, even though the stuff that they used are ours. They are nice to us so we just keep it to ourselves :p

Also, I tried my best not to hurt my friends' feelings when I post something on my blog. Yeah I was so outspoken back then, but I was also very timid in real life. Now it seems to reciprocate, outspoken in real life while genius-ly saying something (properly) that hits right on their nuts without mocking them when blogging. Just mind my language. After all, it's "curse to make the story interesting, but never exaggerate".

in the mood for blogging again. Smiley face :D

bitches i hope u know

2011-01-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

demam.
xdela panas sgt tp sakit2 sendi + x larat +light headed
so ak pon mls nk wat assignment haha

smlm ade org bongok yg jeles xpepasal igt kitorg jeling2 dye. kutuk2 blakang plak tuh...what a pussy :p
tau la laki 2 x lyn ko...tp jgnla libatkn kwn2 dye skali! kitorg tgk sbb mata ko cantek... ak plak tengok ko sbb ko da GEMOK! ada paham? and this laki is just our kawan la weh... jgn la childish sgt.. rapat cmane pon ak still menjaga batas2 laki pompuan!

we've tried our best to be invisible in this community..but still we've got enemies. and enemies like you guys are just a bunch of assholes...ko x penting pon hahaahaha

*middle finger to the bitches*

stress

2011-01-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

abg ak nk kawin
tp xnak usaha sndiri
suka brangan je
mk ak plak mnjakan sgt
tension.
Mid sem exam
tension nk stadi
bila tension mesti nak shopim
tapi dwet MARA x msuk lg!! ad problem plak
lagi la tension.
masak.
lps masak lauk baru prasan ade org gile pegi tutup main switch extension
nasik x masak lg la
lmbat la ak mkn nsk
tension lg.

My Chemical Romance (Feat. The Used)-Under Pressure
[Originally by David Bowie/Queen]

Pressure!

Pushing down on me
Pressing down on you

no man ask for
oh Under pressure!
That burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

Bah dah dah bah dah dah be day dah be day dah
(Yeah) (Yeah)

That's okay!
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming "Let me out!"
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Pressure on people
People on streets

Okay!

Chippin' around
Kick my brains round the floor
These are the days
It never rains but it pours
Bah bah dah bah bah dah be day dah be day dah

People on streets
Bah da de da day
People on streets
Bah da de da de da de da de day

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming "Let me out!"
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Higher

Turned away from it all
Like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
But it's so slashed and torn

Why? Why? Why?
Love! Love! Love!

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love give love give love?
Give love give love give love give love give love?

Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care
For the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our ways
Of caring about ourselves

This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves under pressure

Under pressure (under pressure)

Irony

2010-12-31T17:44:00.003+08:00

She was real mad at her stuff being used improperly, but ironically she was the main suspect of the previous who-used-my-stuff-without-asking crime.

She said "I'm not done investigating you," but ironically it was us who investigate her activities. and we're not done with her ~~too~~ yet.

She is always punctual in prayer times, and others thought that she's a kind one, but ironically her life is so full of "scandals" and staying-at-the-guys'-house thingy.

She seems very annoyed with us, and always give us the mad look and raises her voice when she speaks to us, but ironically she seems very gentle and speaks nicely with the GUY.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She wants to move from here, and can't stand us anymore, but ironically EVERYBODY want her to leave. and we can't stand her from the day 1.

Caresse sur l'ocean

2010-12-28T22:51:00.003+08:00

ANTM contestants vlogging!

2010-12-26T04:46:00.002+08:00

I found their vlogs on Youtube. It's so strange because they all made videos on youtube. I think it was like 'let's make youtube videos after ANTM cycle 15 ends!'

so this is Ann Ward, the winner :D i loooove her!!
Ann on Vogue is here

here is Chelsey, runner up :)

and here is Lexie-the 4th girl being eliminated

The Room Part 5: The Road Part 1

2010-12-25T19:29:00.001+08:00

Skillet- Awake and Alive

I'm at war with the world
And they try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I'm slipping from Your arms

It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last

I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive

I'm at war with the world
'Cause I ain't never gonna sell my soul
I've already made up my mind
No matter what, I can't be bought or sold

When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again

I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake, and I'm alive

Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up in the dark

I can feel You in my sleep
In Your arms, I feel You breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to You
Forever I will live for You

excitement

2010-12-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so excited because the guy that I stalked for a few weeks ago likes my art album. He's studying art (thanx to my roommate for introducing him to me), and it is such an honour that he did view my artworks although mine was just some crappy stuff :D

and again I'm so excited because finally I get in touch with my long lost virtual/penpal friends, Ricky n Kyle, both on the same day. I was so tired (I am..still) but all of these excitements were helping me to not to fall asleep so early.

I'm so tired so I can't think of something else to write. ciao

I've become stupid

2010-12-23T02:46:00.000+08:00

I feel really stupid for believing the guys. At this moment I just hope that I can suck every word that I've just said like a vacuum cleaner. The excitement and all...BAH!

This is the reason why I don't want to be close with a guy since I just can't control myself from revealing everything that's in my mind. Never trust a guy, but when I was so into deep I didn't realise that there's a barrier between girl talk and the guy talk. And I just don't want them to misunderstood me.

If you watch Youtube a lot, knowing the rankings and lists of Youtube celebrities (including their earnings haha), you would then learn some of the terms that had been used a lot as a joke. This is what we call adapting the internet cultures.

Especially Malay guys! seriously you need to update yourself. The reason why people stick to Youtube is not just to watch music videos, but comedy skits and vlog made by their favourite Youtubers. I've been asked for a couple of times by my own brother; "What r u looking for in Youtube" as if it is a sort of pornsite or something. I've been reading the comments (and also commenting) and had been using the sexual terms as a joke, but then people would ask me "How would you know this word" like I'm learning it by watching porn. This had never happened between me and westerners when we chatted because they know that this is one of the influences brought by the internet. Means that if you live in the "internet city'" you MUST know the language or maybe you would come across with those words later in your life.

Just look at my comments on the Youtubers' Facebook and you would know that I talk shit all the time :D bwahahah

God knows....

2010-12-22T01:23:00.000+08:00

What would you feel when you're longing for it since you are a kid but others can get it so easily? Should you feel jealous? No. cause everything is fated and whatever happened comes with a reason. Your time will come, but if it's still not meant to be that way, that means God had made another plan for you. A better one.

I think I had passed the first test, because God now gave me everything that I've ever asked before. It's good to have goals, but what I learned from my experience is not to over-planned yourself... not to think much of the future.

KEEP RUNNING

Clue 1

2010-12-20T20:53:00.002+08:00

Suspect1 likes to observe other people doing things. It's kinda annoying when you turn around and found out that someone was actually looking at you washing the dishes or eating or doing homework. She usually smiles after that, but when being asked what's wrong, she then smiles again. She appears as cheerful and quite fun to talk with, and easily to reveal some of her secrets to other people.

Suspect2 is the type of person that people hate to talk or be with. Since she's been doing her activity alone, nobody knows what she'd be doing behind our back. A girl reported that Suspect2 had used her stuff without her concern, and she just realised it by the way the stuff was put back and Suspect2 was the last person who had been in that room. It is still not proving anything, but that girl claimed that her food stock that she left on her table for a few weeks had also become less day by day.

Hot story!!

2010-12-19T19:44:00.002+08:00

ak klau bab cerita panas neh mmg laju je nk brcerita hehehe... alang2 tgh rilek2 mkn aiskrim, bek ak menaip jap :D

Hello my fellow detectives,

Just now, Ms.House had complained about her missing items, which is her food stock. More like a lifetime supply of chocolate to me hahaha :D..ehem..Sorry it's time to be serious. To be exact, she lost 1 box of expensive chocolate (out of 4), some mini Cadbury's (there's only 5-6 packets left now), half a jar of Nutella, and 1 packet of FAMA megi. All of these things are stored in her large luggage which is placed under her bed. The victim stated that she only eats them maybe once or twice but she believes that it is impossible that the quantity had deceased so rapidly without other people eating them too. She also said that her Milo 3-in-1 packets stored in her drawer started to become less day by day although she never uses it. The victim started to realise this about 2 or 3 days ago after she checked on each boxes. She suggested that this might happen since the day she lost the padlock to her luggage and suspected 2 people who had seen her opening the luggage for a few times.

The victim had asked the Suspect1 about that incident and she said that the Suspect1 seems shocked. Hence, the victim wouldn't believe that Suspect1 might be the culprit. However, we still need to investigate more before we can cross her out from the suspect list. Suspect2 is the same people that I've been thinking of since Suspect2 was once asking me for my megi but never say anything about replacing it back. I don't mind, but most people usually say that they're going to replace it when they buy the new one (although they didn't..but I really really don't mind with it...it just shows what type of person you are if you just take it without intended(or saying) to give it back).

The theory suggested by the victim is that Suspect2 is the only suspect that stays in the house longer than anybody else since she has fewer classes to attend. She also stated that Suspect2 is trying to save money and didn't buy any food stock. When my friends and I was at home, we found out that the victim's room is always locked either when the Suspect2 is alone or with her roommates including the victim. But there's nothing we can do without any prove.

Suspect2 seems very punctual in praying especially Subuh (which is something that I'm always late). It is impossible for this type of person to steal things from other people as prayer will prevent someone from doing bad things. She also seems quite rich since I once heard her talking about how hard driving BMW and it seems like her dad owns one. Nobody witness her eating FAMA megi or throwing that chocolate box in the garbage bin placed in the kitchen. I did saw a jar of Nutella on the Suspect1's table, but I couldn't remember who ate it, either Suspect1 or the victim herself. The victim also reported that she lost her top coat nail polish, and suspected someone (which she didn't mention) because she saw the suspect been using it.

My theory is either the victim was delusional, where she was actually forgetting that she eat it or give it to other people, or it is true that Suspect1/2 did it. If the suspect wants to save money, then why chocolate? Is it because she can't afford to buy chocolates hence she steals them? Why the victim's food? Why not the food that I left in the kitchen? Where would she throw the wrappers after that? Where would she eat? When will she strikes again?

*end of discussion*

Looklet

2010-12-18T23:26:00.001+08:00

again, Malaysian Lookleter got featured on Looklet. Congrats!!
http://looklet.com/magazine/article/631

minit mesyuarat 1st hahahaha :D

2010-12-17T22:09:00.006+08:00

Good evening everyone,

During the meeting, one of the students complained about the weird accent that most of the lecturers used during class, which makes some of them to confuse when the terms are not pronounced well. Those words are; point, epinephrine, pagi, pump and other words that start with the letter 'p'. The lecturer who has the most difficult/thick accent is.....Dr.Fa.... uhmm...

*checking the list*..... Dr. Mohanad.

wait..what??

That cutest thing on earth you tell me has the thickest accent among the others? No way.

As his hardcore supporter I highly disagree about that. I mean at least his cuteness overcomes his weakness. And seriously his accent is still understandable.

Probably you were thinking why they are talking like that. I am not a language freak but this is just my opinion. Why did they pronounce 'point' as 'boint'? Maybe they dont have the letter 'p' in their language? Iranian language consists of Persian, Turkic, Turkish, Arabic and others. While Iraqi used Arabic, Kurdish, Turkoman and others as their language. Let's say our lecturer speak Arabic, so this is (if you already know arabic letters) the reason why they can't pronounce the p-word.

When Islam arrived in southeast Asia during the 14th century, the Arabic script was adapted to write the Malay language. In the 17th century, under influence from the Dutch and British, the Arabic script was replaced by the Latin alphabet.

by:Omniglot

As you can see here, the letters that are added to Malaysified the arabic words are 'ca', 'nga', 'pa', 'ga', 'va', and 'nya'. Means here that the original Arabic letters does not have the letter 'p' or 'pa' but 'fa' or 'f' instead. You don't want the lecturer to say 'point' as 'foint' right?

My point here is that they cannot pronounce certain words with certain letters in it because they are not used to such letters yet. I experienced the same thing when I first learn English. If you learn German you will realise that w is pronounced as v, and ach as akh. Try Turkish, try Finnish...there are different way to pronounce certain letters. So I think that we can't do anything with the accent as they had tried their best to speak. Sometimes new accent can be learned, but it takes years to get used to and apply. It's us who need to listen more to familiarised ourself with their accent.

*meeting end*